本周《欢乐正前方》更新。由于采用RM格式会影响一些没有Real播放器的朋友，故还是坚持使用WMA编码的文件。
祝大家圣诞快乐！这应该是我录制的最后一次更新了，请大家继续关注北京交通广播FM103.9吧，《欢乐正前方》天天都会给你带来好心情~
051222，讲述小学生的经典作文。
“王为：我走进了一家百货商店。啊，看来人民生活水平的确提高了，你看那位农民老大爷，左手一台电冰箱，右手一台电视机，一溜小跑……
闻风：我的老师长得有点胖，头大大的，眼睛大大的，鼻子大大的，连嘴巴也是大大的。……老师对人很和蔼，他戴着一付变色眼镜，就好比是一只大熊猫一样……”
051223，没写介绍……
051224，兔子的故事。
“长颈鹿：小兔子，真希望你能知道有长脖子有多好。无论有多么好吃的东西，都能慢慢的通过我的脖子，哟，那个美味可以长时间享受啊！
小兔子面无表情，看着长颈鹿。
长颈鹿：并且啊，夏天凉水慢慢流过我的长脖子，哟，可口着哪！你能想象到吗？
小兔子：那，你吐过吗？”
051225，网友提供的笑话。
“王为：梦中，我和你在一望无际的大海上漂流。……这时候我发现一个瓶子。
闻风：甭说了，瓶子一蹭，出来一个精灵……
王为：不是，等我把瓶子捞出来一蹭，发现出来的是编辑！
闻风：晦气。
编辑：怎么又在这里看见你们了，真晦气！呸！……我只允许一个愿望。
王为：快把整个大海变成啤酒吧。梦里的闻风你说，完了，你真是没脑子，海里都是啤酒了，我们……到哪里去方便啊！”
感谢大家对小站的支持~
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005年12月25日星期日
2005年12月22日星期四
FM103.9 | 《欢乐正前方》(Facing Joy) 广播录音更新 | 051222
更新上周四到周日的节目录音！可能今年录完最后两周的节目就不能再录了，学习为主……
另外，各期的内容在FM103.9都有广播稿，我只找了其中的一小部分，其余的可以自己去找。
051215，《欢乐正前方》“广播Flash”，悍妇懦夫的故事。
(很早以前播过，内容是一个懦弱的丈夫与她的凶悍妻子的故事)
051216，人缘过好的闻风总被朋友求助，感到十分无奈。(广播节目稿供参考)
“王为：在月圆之夜，煮三根牛骨头，洒满胡椒面。你和你家狗狗吃了之后都会打喷嚏，在它打喷嚏时你也打喷嚏，再用脑袋撞它脑袋，你俩就互换成功了！
闻风：这世界清静了……”
051217，网络上的笑话。
“王为：很久以前，在我使用Win98时，朋友请一个高手给我来装系统。他叫我把固定电话给他。我是个电脑白痴，不好说什么就给他了。他把电话空着的一头接到电脑上，进入了DOS，开始狂按0和1。我给他倒杯茶，就去睡觉了。四小时后，醒来发现高手正在调试Win98。后来我了解了，那个高手用机器语言编写了一个Win98系统！后来跟朋友打听，朋友说，那个高手前些年去国外了，杳无音信……
闻风：很久以前，在我使用大哥大时……
王为：很久以前，在我使用照相机时……
闻风：很久以前，还是在我用右手掏耳朵的时候……”
051218，汽车的故事。
“王为：在卡迪拉克乡的劳斯莱斯村，住着兄弟二人，哥哥叫林肯，弟弟叫林德。皆以种丰田为生。
闻风：两人虽为同胞兄弟，性格却迥然不同。林肯为人忠厚老实，一心只想种好自己的本田；而林德人虽长得标致，却游手好闲，整日和莫斯科人混在一起。不是到伏尔加河逮海狮，就是到松花江畔打蓝鸟……”
感谢您的关注与支持~
欢迎将这个Blog推荐给你的朋友~
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
另外，各期的内容在FM103.9都有广播稿，我只找了其中的一小部分，其余的可以自己去找。
051215，《欢乐正前方》“广播Flash”，悍妇懦夫的故事。
(很早以前播过，内容是一个懦弱的丈夫与她的凶悍妻子的故事)
051216，人缘过好的闻风总被朋友求助，感到十分无奈。(广播节目稿供参考)
“王为：在月圆之夜，煮三根牛骨头，洒满胡椒面。你和你家狗狗吃了之后都会打喷嚏，在它打喷嚏时你也打喷嚏，再用脑袋撞它脑袋，你俩就互换成功了！
闻风：这世界清静了……”
051217，网络上的笑话。
“王为：很久以前，在我使用Win98时，朋友请一个高手给我来装系统。他叫我把固定电话给他。我是个电脑白痴，不好说什么就给他了。他把电话空着的一头接到电脑上，进入了DOS，开始狂按0和1。我给他倒杯茶，就去睡觉了。四小时后，醒来发现高手正在调试Win98。后来我了解了，那个高手用机器语言编写了一个Win98系统！后来跟朋友打听，朋友说，那个高手前些年去国外了，杳无音信……
闻风：很久以前，在我使用大哥大时……
王为：很久以前，在我使用照相机时……
闻风：很久以前，还是在我用右手掏耳朵的时候……”
051218，汽车的故事。
“王为：在卡迪拉克乡的劳斯莱斯村，住着兄弟二人，哥哥叫林肯，弟弟叫林德。皆以种丰田为生。
闻风：两人虽为同胞兄弟，性格却迥然不同。林肯为人忠厚老实，一心只想种好自己的本田；而林德人虽长得标致，却游手好闲，整日和莫斯科人混在一起。不是到伏尔加河逮海狮，就是到松花江畔打蓝鸟……”
感谢您的关注与支持~
欢迎将这个Blog推荐给你的朋友~
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005年12月18日星期日
糗事百科 - 创造快乐的过程并不全是快乐
前些日子看了看Dash的Blog，发现了糗事百科。第一眼看到就有一种耳目一新的感觉。这样的网站好像还没在国内出现过吧……
下面的内容摘自“糗事百科”创建者datou的Blog，真是令人佩服的Blogger。
您可能是天才，我不是，我身边的绝大部分人都不是，我们的范围可能是90%，也可能是99.9%，反正我不是天才。这个世界上总有一些天才，他们不一定创造出物质财富，但是他们能够创造我们不是天才的人想不到的东西，比如bash.org。
1、好看与好吃
天才下的蛋都很可爱，在他们那个世界也非常好吃，拿到我们的世界，可能口味并不合适甚至有毒。bash的思想非常简单，匿名的内容共享，访问者可以参与的排名，人气也很不错，要搬到中国来吗？
2、从假设出发
如果我们锁定一个主题+如果这个主题非常有意思=用户价值+如果访问者能够参与+如果雪球能够滚起来+如果成本不高=可以做出来玩玩+别人不屑于模仿我们=一个不错的内容网站
3、寻找合作伙伴
我需要一个懂技术的合作伙伴，我找到几个人，他们都有自己的生活，他们都没有财务自由，我也没有，我继续找。终于被我找到了，start up！
4、建站
建站现在有往两个极端发展的趋势，一个是高级的framework，一个是低级的自主开发webserver，很多人还在中间，比如我们用的是php。这个过程中有brain storm，有事件追踪get things done，也有很多痛苦和快乐。
6、Why chatlog?
为什么bash分享聊天记录而不是其他？中国人愿意分享聊天记录吗？聊天记录的两个特点是每天都在源源不断的生成和便于copy&paste。天才的故乡都用IRC，中国用QQ和MSN，分享聊天记录的习惯似乎也没有。修改主题为糗事，只是一些文案工作。
7、qiushibaike.com
网站名字和域名都是一时冲动，不过还是有几个默认的标准，两个字或者四个字，易记，易传。非常感谢两位同学提供服务器空间。常听人说，看一个人的底牌要看他身边的朋友。底牌打起来感觉真好。
8、营销与推广
在没有精力从UI上包装糗事百科的时候，只能用文字对其进行包装，效果目前看来还不错。遮了比不遮更挑逗，这句话用在这里似乎也不太合适。目前处于零成本推广阶段，QQ、MSN、GT群发，发动朋友、论坛发贴，etc。
9、第一排的电影票
一个域名诞生以后会发生什么事情？它是怎么从一个论坛传到另一个论坛的，是怎么从一个地区铺到另一个地区的，通过51yes，我看了个真切。
10、一场羽量级的ICP试验
上面与大家分享的，都是通过这场试验获得的心得。我也在收集大家对糗事百科的idea，希望这场试验还能玩出新花样，希望以后还能做更多的试验。
鸣谢：（按标题长短排名）
糗事wiki：记录发生在你身上的所有糗事@Postshow
[介绍好玩意儿]糗事百科@人要考试，猪要生仔
今日流水账 - 糗事百科@94smart
我笑翻了——糗事百科@ClubBenQ
推荐：大头的糗事百科@变态家族
两个离职1个诞生@哈斯日志
大头的糗事百科@hiyou
糗事百科全书@SongZhen's Weblog
糗事百科@Corr~梦~flyin’
闲时看看@>～精彩生活～
糗事百科@VIWO
[转载自2SIMPLE]
下面的内容摘自“糗事百科”创建者datou的Blog，真是令人佩服的Blogger。
糗事百科是这个星球上最暴笑的糗事分享网站，您在这里可以查看世界各地形形色色的糗事。0、我们都不是天才
您可能是天才，我不是，我身边的绝大部分人都不是，我们的范围可能是90%，也可能是99.9%，反正我不是天才。这个世界上总有一些天才，他们不一定创造出物质财富，但是他们能够创造我们不是天才的人想不到的东西，比如bash.org。
1、好看与好吃
天才下的蛋都很可爱，在他们那个世界也非常好吃，拿到我们的世界，可能口味并不合适甚至有毒。bash的思想非常简单，匿名的内容共享，访问者可以参与的排名，人气也很不错，要搬到中国来吗？
2、从假设出发
如果我们锁定一个主题+如果这个主题非常有意思=用户价值+如果访问者能够参与+如果雪球能够滚起来+如果成本不高=可以做出来玩玩+别人不屑于模仿我们=一个不错的内容网站
3、寻找合作伙伴
我需要一个懂技术的合作伙伴，我找到几个人，他们都有自己的生活，他们都没有财务自由，我也没有，我继续找。终于被我找到了，start up！
4、建站
建站现在有往两个极端发展的趋势，一个是高级的framework，一个是低级的自主开发webserver，很多人还在中间，比如我们用的是php。这个过程中有brain storm，有事件追踪get things done，也有很多痛苦和快乐。
6、Why chatlog?
为什么bash分享聊天记录而不是其他？中国人愿意分享聊天记录吗？聊天记录的两个特点是每天都在源源不断的生成和便于copy&paste。天才的故乡都用IRC，中国用QQ和MSN，分享聊天记录的习惯似乎也没有。修改主题为糗事，只是一些文案工作。
7、qiushibaike.com
网站名字和域名都是一时冲动，不过还是有几个默认的标准，两个字或者四个字，易记，易传。非常感谢两位同学提供服务器空间。常听人说，看一个人的底牌要看他身边的朋友。底牌打起来感觉真好。
8、营销与推广
在没有精力从UI上包装糗事百科的时候，只能用文字对其进行包装，效果目前看来还不错。遮了比不遮更挑逗，这句话用在这里似乎也不太合适。目前处于零成本推广阶段，QQ、MSN、GT群发，发动朋友、论坛发贴，etc。
9、第一排的电影票
一个域名诞生以后会发生什么事情？它是怎么从一个论坛传到另一个论坛的，是怎么从一个地区铺到另一个地区的，通过51yes，我看了个真切。
10、一场羽量级的ICP试验
上面与大家分享的，都是通过这场试验获得的心得。我也在收集大家对糗事百科的idea，希望这场试验还能玩出新花样，希望以后还能做更多的试验。
鸣谢：（按标题长短排名）
糗事wiki：记录发生在你身上的所有糗事@Postshow
[介绍好玩意儿]糗事百科@人要考试，猪要生仔
今日流水账 - 糗事百科@94smart
我笑翻了——糗事百科@ClubBenQ
推荐：大头的糗事百科@变态家族
两个离职1个诞生@哈斯日志
大头的糗事百科@hiyou
糗事百科全书@SongZhen's Weblog
糗事百科@Corr~梦~flyin’
闲时看看@>～精彩生活～
糗事百科@VIWO
[转载自2SIMPLE]
2005年12月14日星期三
FM103.9 | 《欢乐正前方》(Facing Joy) 广播录音更新 | 051214
今天抽时间更新上周的《欢乐正前方》，虽然周末传到FTP上了，但是没有写Blog。懒啊……
感谢你的关注！
051208，笑话集锦。“王为：一只猫发现了一只老鼠，于是饿虎扑羊般的扑了过去，要把它吃掉。可是后来啊——猫却被这只老鼠吃掉了，为什么？闻风：为什么啊？王为：因为——(蔡依林《野蛮游戏》：老虎、老鼠，傻傻分不清楚……)”
051209，故事集锦。“闻风：在地铁里，我突然看到一个盲人，正对着一根大石头柱子发愣，不知道该怎么走。……我上前扶他一把，……当我搀起他的胳膊的时候，他先是愣了一下，然后把胳膊从我的手里退了出来。……他对我笑了笑，表示感谢，对我说：如果你可以帮我，那么把你的手给我，让我拉着你的手走。……帮助一个盲人的时候，如果搀扶着他，他会觉得是被人拖着走，自己还是不知道怎么走，没有安全感；可是你把手给他，他拉着你的手，前进的时候会有一种自己走的感觉，这样他的心里会比较舒服一些，走得比较自如……王为：帮助别人，需要给别人需要的东西；而不是一厢情愿的给予。”
051210，王为和闻风介绍了一些与健康生活息息相关的内容。“世间最近的距离，不是天与地、爱人和你，而是人与电视，常常没有保持到二至四米。”广播录制过程中室内可能有干扰，噪音较大，请见谅！
051211，闻风向王为索要借去的8元钱……“闻风：床前明月光，疑是地上霜。明天不还钱，横着回故乡！王为：离离囊中钱，一岁一库容。你也花不尽，春风吹又生！闻风：低头浅酌酒似无，明月望断归乡路。血流三千六百里，只为欠债未曾还！王为：大错特错都是你的错，把钱给了我，让我不知不觉陷入了送花的温柔！”
明天又要开始录本周的节目咯~
更新完毕，欢迎您继续关注！:)
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
感谢你的关注！
051208，笑话集锦。“王为：一只猫发现了一只老鼠，于是饿虎扑羊般的扑了过去，要把它吃掉。可是后来啊——猫却被这只老鼠吃掉了，为什么？闻风：为什么啊？王为：因为——(蔡依林《野蛮游戏》：老虎、老鼠，傻傻分不清楚……)”
051209，故事集锦。“闻风：在地铁里，我突然看到一个盲人，正对着一根大石头柱子发愣，不知道该怎么走。……我上前扶他一把，……当我搀起他的胳膊的时候，他先是愣了一下，然后把胳膊从我的手里退了出来。……他对我笑了笑，表示感谢，对我说：如果你可以帮我，那么把你的手给我，让我拉着你的手走。……帮助一个盲人的时候，如果搀扶着他，他会觉得是被人拖着走，自己还是不知道怎么走，没有安全感；可是你把手给他，他拉着你的手，前进的时候会有一种自己走的感觉，这样他的心里会比较舒服一些，走得比较自如……王为：帮助别人，需要给别人需要的东西；而不是一厢情愿的给予。”
051210，王为和闻风介绍了一些与健康生活息息相关的内容。“世间最近的距离，不是天与地、爱人和你，而是人与电视，常常没有保持到二至四米。”广播录制过程中室内可能有干扰，噪音较大，请见谅！
051211，闻风向王为索要借去的8元钱……“闻风：床前明月光，疑是地上霜。明天不还钱，横着回故乡！王为：离离囊中钱，一岁一库容。你也花不尽，春风吹又生！闻风：低头浅酌酒似无，明月望断归乡路。血流三千六百里，只为欠债未曾还！王为：大错特错都是你的错，把钱给了我，让我不知不觉陷入了送花的温柔！”
明天又要开始录本周的节目咯~
更新完毕，欢迎您继续关注！:)
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005年12月4日星期日
FM 103.9 | 《欢乐正前方》录音更新 051204
由于此前录制的节目我都发布在了某站点提供的免费FTP服务器内，但现在该网站宣布暂停服务，导致链接全部失效。现在我将把节目重新发布到我的收费网络硬盘中，保障大家的下载收听。此帖子内的所有链接已经更正可以下载，未曾给大家带来的不便，我在此表示歉意。
提示：在打开的下载页面中，点击文件名旁边的“Play”按钮可以预览文件的前十分钟内容。
提示：在打开的下载页面中，点击文件名旁边的“Play”按钮可以预览文件的前十分钟内容。
更新《欢乐正前方》~
笑话内容都不错哦！听了才知道。:P
051201[收听!]，笑话集锦。
“闻风："Cheap Tower Book to Put Topic, But Cheap Tower Dot to Put Topic." 这句英语
“闻风："Cheap Tower Book to Put Topic, But Cheap Tower Dot to Put Topic." 这句英语
是什么意思？
王为：这肯定是英国的一句谚语。便宜的……塔书放在题目里，但是便宜的塔书不一定放在题目
王为：这肯定是英国的一句谚语。便宜的……塔书放在题目里，但是便宜的塔书不一定放在题目
里？这句话什么意思啊？！
闻风：这句话的意思是……吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，不吃葡萄倒吐葡萄皮！
王为：这简直是对我智商的一种侮辱嘛！”
闻风：这句话的意思是……吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，不吃葡萄倒吐葡萄皮！
王为：这简直是对我智商的一种侮辱嘛！”
051202[收听!]，招聘经历。
“女孩(闻风饰)：我可以用英文介绍一下自己吗？
闻风：抱歉，我的英文很次的。
女孩：没关系，我说简单的，你们试着听听。
女孩：My name is LittleFishWang, my bomb at 1977 year.
王为：意思是：我叫王小鱼，我爆炸于1977年。她想说的是Born，结果说成了Bomb。
女孩：My toyear is 24 year.
王为：她想说，我今年24岁。我们知道Today是今天，但今天不是Toyear……
女孩：My home have a papa and a mama and a didi.
王为：她说，她家里有爸、妈，还有一个弟弟。但是弟弟念得太顺了，念成了Didi……”
“女孩(闻风饰)：我可以用英文介绍一下自己吗？
闻风：抱歉，我的英文很次的。
女孩：没关系，我说简单的，你们试着听听。
女孩：My name is LittleFishWang, my bomb at 1977 year.
王为：意思是：我叫王小鱼，我爆炸于1977年。她想说的是Born，结果说成了Bomb。
女孩：My toyear is 24 year.
王为：她想说，我今年24岁。我们知道Today是今天，但今天不是Toyear……
女孩：My home have a papa and a mama and a didi.
王为：她说，她家里有爸、妈，还有一个弟弟。但是弟弟念得太顺了，念成了Didi……”
051203[收听!]，电脑的故事。讲述了一家人购买一台986电脑之后的趣事……
051204[收听!]，歌星身份大揭秘！冷笑话集锦。
（冷笑话以前播出过，这次好像是重播？FacingJoy的节目一般都是分两段，以广告分割。可能
（冷笑话以前播出过，这次好像是重播？FacingJoy的节目一般都是分两段，以广告分割。可能
有一段播出一些旧的节目）
感谢您的关注！
妙语连珠(Extra)
在这之前，我记得妙语连珠的更新是停止了，但是今天发现了这篇曾经发布的Blog，它是在高三的时候最后一次的更新，呵呵，更名为Extra Version吧。值得纪念……
另外我把妙语发布到了我的不同Blog上，包括MSN的，LBS的，和这里的。不太好整理，我尽可能把他们都移动到了这里，但可能还有遗漏。有点可惜，但值得回忆。:)
《妙语连珠》同步发布于我的MSN Spaces。
班会上。
老师：这几天以来，我在教室里看了看上课间操的时候最晚走的同学。第一天是翟云龙，第二天是刘波，第三天，是翟云龙和刘波！就因为你们两个人咱们班就因为迟到要扣掉分数……
英语课上，做听力题中。
老师：这个听力比较快，如果这个听力你们都做得好，那高考听力一定考的超好，能得40分。
学生：总共20分吧？
学生：考得“抄”好。
英语课上，做听力题中。
老师：马妍，第三四五题选什么？
马妍：第三题选4D……
老师：好像就ABC三个选项吧……
英语课上，做听力题中。
老师：这段内容是什么意思啊？是不是说，一个人不会说法语，就给服务生画了一个蘑菇表示自己要点一盘蘑菇，然后服务生以为他要雨伞？
乐佛：在画上花几个圆圈不就像蘑菇了吗？……不行，服务生该给他拿来一把破雨伞了……
物理课上，分析题目中。
老师：……你们发现没有，如果电压表有读数了恰恰就是这里断路了；而没有读数了反而说明这里是连通的……
学生：说反了吧！
老师：(愣了片刻)哦，很好，这题结束。既然大家都明白了，我再讲下去就显得苍白无力了……
班会上播出一个短片。
Marcher：看出来没有，买MP3的时候的那个“柜台”好像是食堂的饭桌……
劳尔：买MP3的时候这么说：——阿姨我买一个MP3；——刷酱吗？
阿彪：——阿姨，我要一个Apple的MP3；——苹果一块钱一个！
下午，两节课后。
乐佛、劳尔、阿彪和Marcher去操场跑步。
阿彪：快跑去吧，我都迫不及忍了！不是，忍不及迫了！……怎么说来着？我都说不会语了……
下午放学。
黑暗中，Marcher打开自行车车锁，把车搬到外边。
杨靖：哎？你没锁啊？
乐佛：她，她说你什么？猥琐？
Marcher：我去！她说我没锁车！
化学课上。
老师：……所以凉的无锈铁丝是粘不起氯化钠粉末的。
学生：为什么啊？
老师：嗯，比如说，你用手摸凉铁板就没事；你要是摸烧红的铁板，你的肉皮不就被粘下来了吗？
学生：……
物理课上，正在讲解磁场中电荷的运动。
老 师：……我这圆怎么画不好啊？原来我教初中的时候，有个女生在 班主任的课上不听讲，老师让她好好听讲，说她一心不可二用。那个女生说，我可以一手画圆一手画方。(学生笑)老师气得够呛，就真让她上黑板来画，结果画得 还真不错，特别圆。(学生笑)我当时就是那个女生的班主任。(学生大笑)那个女生性格就比较怪，她是初中最后一批入团的。我就跟她说，参加入团仪式的时候 不要去晚了，结果就是所有人都等着她，就她没到！这下就等着发展她了。(学生笑)
老师：好，离题了。我们继续讲……
学生：结果呢？她后来怎么样了？
老师：她是个很大胆的人，后来嫁给一个俄罗斯人了。(学生惊讶)她的性格就是比较怪，生活肯定不幸福。最后还是离了。你看这条通电导线在磁场中就会受到力的作用……(学生狂笑)
老师：好了，我们还是讲题吧。(学生大笑)我都不知道该讲什么了。(学生笑)行了，我不说话了！(学生笑，老师开始写板书)
课间。
哈力向聂萌头上扔一块硅胶干燥剂，她却没有反应。
哈力：哇，戴的假发吧？
生物课上。
老师：如果两代人没有任何病症，那这个遗传类型就不好判断了。所以说，子代有患者就最好了……(学生大笑)我不是说想让孩子有病，是说没病题目就没法做了……
生物课上。
老师：一对夫妇，预计要生4个孩子……(学生笑)当然这个不符合计划生育，当然，他们还没生
呢。
生物课上。
老师：这1/4的概率就是生有病女孩的，剩下的3/4概率就是生别的了。
学生：(大笑)生别的东西……
物理课上。
学生：哎？今天怎么没来听课的啊？
老师：进校的老师说只听年轻老师的课。因为我们都是看着他们长大的，再听我们的课就没意思了，我都教了30年书了，所以就不听我的课了。
劳尔：他今年不是45了吗？他15岁就教书了？
Marcher：只入不舍。21年等于30年。
上学路上，英语老师与Marcher对话。
老师：你们班被听课了吗？
Marcher：没有啊。您被听了？
老师：是啊。15班的课。你们数学课不是上午啊？
Marcher：不是。
老师：我记得上午吧？你们数学老师不是今天特意调课了？
Marcher：……没有吧。一直这样。
老 师：我刚来这个学校教高一的时候就被进校老师听课了，下课了我就跟学生说，如果明天换了一个英语老师，那就说明我被校长辞了，你们就跟别的老师上英语课 吧……结果那帮学生挺天真的，说，老师您别走，我们给校长写信，让他留您……结果今天我给15班上完课，说，如果明天换了英语老师就说明我被校长辞了，你 们想不想我啊？所有人都异口同声：不想！……
语文课上。
Marcher：“无心插柳柳成阴”的“阴”是“荫”吗？
老师：刚讲完的，刚才听什么来着？……你们班的白粉笔哪里去了？
乐佛：得，她要找粉笔拽你。
Marcher：……
语文课上。
老师：郭沫若就有个能倒背《红楼梦》的本事。
学生：真的？！
老师：当然是真的。
劳尔：我会倒背《离骚》：骚离。
Marcher：那我也会倒背《红楼梦》：梦楼红。
语文课上。
老师：这张错别字的卷子谁都做对了？
刘波：谁全做对了就把他打傻喽。
课间。
乐佛：春花秋月何时了，兔子不食窝边草。小楼昨夜又东风，巴塞不堪回首月明中。
阿彪：天涯何处无芳草，往事知多少。
更新于051204
2005年12月3日星期六
Blogger - Blogspot 再次被封
Blog*Spot又被封了，正像一些第六感敏锐的朋友所述，从Google图像搜索中的红色叉子就可以看出，Blogspot也快挺不住了。看来中国政府还是没有改变对Google的态度，Google真需要和中国政府多多交流了。
Blogger真是不幸，被无数人抢注为广告Blog，而今又被中国政府于2003年封闭。而另一篇文章也叙述了Blog的未来：防止博客世界成为下一个垃圾场。
真是遗憾而可惜。
看来我也需要找一个免费HTML空间作为Blogger发布FTP地址了。唉……
Blogger真是不幸，被无数人抢注为广告Blog，而今又被中国政府于2003年封闭。而另一篇文章也叙述了Blog的未来：防止博客世界成为下一个垃圾场。
真是遗憾而可惜。
看来我也需要找一个免费HTML空间作为Blogger发布FTP地址了。唉……
2005年12月2日星期五
2005年11月27日星期日
FM103.9《欢乐正前方》录音更新 | 051127
由于此前录制的节目我都发布在了某站点提供的免费FTP服务器内，但现在该网站宣布暂停服务，导致链接全部失效。现在我将把节目重新发布到我的收费网络硬盘中，保障大家的下载收听。此帖子内的所有链接已经更正可以下载，未曾给大家带来的不便，我在此表示歉意。
提示：在打开的下载页面中，点击文件名旁边的“Play”按钮可以预览文件的前十分钟内容。
最近几天的节目啦！都是《欢乐回顾》，没有录制《欢乐零零捌》。
这次特地写了一些节目简介，希望给各位喜欢的朋友带来方便。
051124[下载收听]，这期节目中王为和闻风总结了N多电视剧中重复出现的经典台词。
男主角总是在绝望的时候大吼：为什么！这都是为什么！为什么啊！这都是为什么啊！……
051125[下载收听]，本期总结了一些容易误听的台词。
“记得《米老鼠和唐老鸭》吧？片头说：啊，演出开始啦！我听了好久，一直以为他说：啊，野猪拉屎啦！”
051126[下载收听]，本期节目介绍了王为的一次惊心动魄的军训下厨经历……
“——所以我是用绳子套在鸡的脖子上，用蹓狗的方式蹓到厨房的。走在路上的时候，一些同学、战友啊，看到我还在旁边打招呼呢：哟，王为啊，带鸡出来散步啦！真酷嘿！
——哎哟，真丢人嘿！……”
PS：本期节目开始没有录好，杂音太大，索性删掉了片头！
051127[下载收听]，笑话集锦。
闻风和王为议论经典诗句：
“闻风：记得考试有一道题问：苏轼称王维什么？——当然，这个‘王维’是那个著名大诗人王维——正确的答案是：苏轼称王维诗中有画，画中有诗。
王为：哎呀，这悟性你比得了吗？
闻风：可是王为同学苦思冥想想不出来。最后，王为写道：苏轼……称王维……舅舅？不仅你没悟性，还充大辈，没大没小！”
感谢你的关注，如果喜欢请留个评论，支持一下我啊！谢谢！
早期节目录音更新采用 Google Blog Search 搜索本站, Google 也可以
更多精彩请继续关注！
提示：在打开的下载页面中，点击文件名旁边的“Play”按钮可以预览文件的前十分钟内容。
最近几天的节目啦！都是《欢乐回顾》，没有录制《欢乐零零捌》。
这次特地写了一些节目简介，希望给各位喜欢的朋友带来方便。
051124[下载收听]，这期节目中王为和闻风总结了N多电视剧中重复出现的经典台词。
男主角总是在绝望的时候大吼：为什么！这都是为什么！为什么啊！这都是为什么啊！……
051125[下载收听]，本期总结了一些容易误听的台词。
“记得《米老鼠和唐老鸭》吧？片头说：啊，演出开始啦！我听了好久，一直以为他说：啊，野猪拉屎啦！”
051126[下载收听]，本期节目介绍了王为的一次惊心动魄的军训下厨经历……
“——所以我是用绳子套在鸡的脖子上，用蹓狗的方式蹓到厨房的。走在路上的时候，一些同学、战友啊，看到我还在旁边打招呼呢：哟，王为啊，带鸡出来散步啦！真酷嘿！
——哎哟，真丢人嘿！……”
PS：本期节目开始没有录好，杂音太大，索性删掉了片头！
051127[下载收听]，笑话集锦。
闻风和王为议论经典诗句：
“闻风：记得考试有一道题问：苏轼称王维什么？——当然，这个‘王维’是那个著名大诗人王维——正确的答案是：苏轼称王维诗中有画，画中有诗。
王为：哎呀，这悟性你比得了吗？
闻风：可是王为同学苦思冥想想不出来。最后，王为写道：苏轼……称王维……舅舅？不仅你没悟性，还充大辈，没大没小！”
感谢你的关注，如果喜欢请留个评论，支持一下我啊！谢谢！
早期节目录音更新采用 Google Blog Search 搜索本站, Google 也可以
更多精彩请继续关注！
2005年11月25日星期五
2005年11月23日星期三
Blog搬家
很久没更新这里了。
我的那个www.luhe.net/pages/ma的Blog已经因为学校的服务器关闭而无法访问了。真是郁闷。
幸好前些日子Google Blogger能够访问了，我现在的主要Blog在Blogger，常更新吧，欢迎去看看。
另外，我刚刚决定，以前更新的《妙语连珠》今后继续更新吧，抽出一点点时间，半月左右一次。
感谢支持！
2005年11月20日星期日
《欢乐正前方》(Facing Joy)录音更新 | 051120
今日《欢乐正前方》节目录音制作完毕~
2005-11-20节目录音
关于《欢乐正前方》的节目介绍就不赘述了，如果需要，请阅读先前发布的Blog：
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm1039facing-joy.html
前几期的《欢乐正前方》录音：
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm1039facing-joy.html [051118]
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm-1039mhz-facing-joy-051119.html [051119]
本周的更新暂时结束，下周末继续更新。
PS：每周一至周四应该播出“欢乐零零捌”，我没有录制计划。周五至周日的“欢乐回顾”可能将一并于周日发布。
本广播节目音频的版权归FM103.9北京交通广播所有。
每期节目大约5MB大小(WMA格式)。
感谢支持！
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005-11-20节目录音
关于《欢乐正前方》的节目介绍就不赘述了，如果需要，请阅读先前发布的Blog：
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm1039facing-joy.html
前几期的《欢乐正前方》录音：
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm1039facing-joy.html [051118]
http://www.marcher.com.cn/2005/11/fm-1039mhz-facing-joy-051119.html [051119]
本周的更新暂时结束，下周末继续更新。
PS：每周一至周四应该播出“欢乐零零捌”，我没有录制计划。周五至周日的“欢乐回顾”可能将一并于周日发布。
本广播节目音频的版权归FM103.9北京交通广播所有。
每期节目大约5MB大小(WMA格式)。
感谢支持！
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005年11月19日星期六
FM 103.9MHz 欢乐正前方(Facing Joy) 录音更新|051119
由于此前录制的节目我都发布在了某站点提供的免费FTP服务器内，但现在该网站宣布暂停服务，导致链接全部失效。现在我将把节目重新发布到我的收费网络硬盘中，保障大家的下载收听。此帖子内的所有链接已经更正可以下载，未曾给大家带来的不便，我在此表示歉意。
提示：在打开的下载页面中，点击文件名旁边的“Play”按钮可以预览文件的前十分钟内容。
《欢乐正前方》11月19日节目[收听!]录制编辑完成(32Kbps WMA格式)。刚刚录制并压制完成的节目，赶快趁热听吧！本期讲的故事是王为在就医过程中的遭遇。
录音软件：Audio Record Wizard
剪辑软件：Nero Wave Editor
压制软件：Windows Media 编码器 9
与朋友一起收听？告诉朋友这个地址！
有意见？给我发邮件！
李开复的第一个关门弟子
10月的某一天，一封似曾相识的自荐信引起了李开复的注意：“我有点奇怪，为什么同一封邮件会收到两次”，调查后他发现，寄信人发的地址远方不止2个， “用户名kfl、kaifuli、kfli，信箱后缀gmail、hotmail、yahoo等等，他把能想到的邮箱地址全部寄遍了”。在介绍自己的时候，这位“毛遂”举出了曾经服务过的公司和得到的荣誉，并且表达了希望成为Google一员的意愿。他详细说明了他喜欢Google某个产品的某个部分，这个部分设计的特点是怎样的；并分析了Google招聘的几个职位，分析了哪个职位最适合自己；此外他还坦诚自己面临的其他机会，他希望Google尽快面试以便早做决定。目前这个“毛遂自荐”的同学已经通过了测试，顺利成为李开复的第一个“关门弟子”，即将开始为期6－9个月的Google式特训。李开复说，他相中的弟子有20多个了，而这位是迄今惟一收到聘书的。
2005年11月18日星期五
FM103.9|欢乐正前方(Facing Joy)节目录音[链接已更正]
《欢乐正前方》是北京人民广播电台交通广播娱乐节目，由王为和闻风主持，有很广泛的收听面。北京 FM 103.9MHz 每日早9:30播出，重播每日晚22:00。这两天我录制的节目主要是《欢乐正前方》的“欢乐回顾”，基本上是笑话。以后我决定有时间就录几期“欢乐回顾”，不再录制其中的“欢乐零零捌”。
——引用自VeryCD共享互联网
我录制的《欢乐正前方》使用Windows Media编码器9压制为FM质量音频的32Kbps WMA文件。
2005-11-15，首次录制，是通过网络直播录制的。录制后才觉得有刺耳的声音。因为直播的码率是20Kbps……
2005-11-16，这期节目是一个“冷笑话”专场，我觉得很经典，FM103.9网站上有节目稿。由于当天没有录好，但是后来抓录到了重播，是060106的录音。
2005-11-18，今天刚刚录制的节目。
请继续关注以后的更新！
下载：
录音文件位于Windows Live SkyDrive。
2005年11月12日星期六
Emilie Simon -《La Marche De L'empereur》(帝王的旅行/帝企鹅日记) [链接已修复]
专辑名称：La Marche De L'empereur
专辑歌手：Emilie Simon
专辑封面：
专辑介绍：
这是法国音乐才女Emilie Simon为2005年上映的法国纪录片La Marche De L'empereur（帝王的旅程/帝企鹅日记）所录制的这张电影原声专辑。
白雪皑皑，冰封大地，帝王企鹅（生活在南极洲的体型最大的企鹅种类）步履蹒跚的却是执著的前行着，舍弃了游刃有余的大海，孤独的背负着命运的旨意：种族的延续！
Emilie 所作的此张电影原声真可谓是精彩无比，电子加弦乐的有机结合将南极大地的冰冷入骨和帝王企鹅的使命归宿如电影场景一样的传输到聆听者的耳朵，然后只需稍稍 用想象解码即可复原欣赏。专注的跟随Emilie Simon前行，穿过大雪和风暴，为帝王企鹅祈祷，为生命的奇迹歌唱。
当我聆听这张专辑的时候，我仿佛也置身于白茫茫的南极大陆，感受着那些冰雪精灵们在寒风中在冰面上的舞蹈。
专辑曲目：
1. The Frozen World(试听)
2. Antarctic
3. The Egg
4. Song Of The Sea
5. Baby Penguins
6. Attack Of The Killerbirds
7. Aurora Australia
8. The Sea Leopard
9. Song Of The Storm
10. To The Dancers On The Ice
11. All Is White(试听)
12. The Voyage(试听)
13. Ice Girl
专辑信息来自VeryCD共享互联网
专辑歌手：Emilie Simon
专辑封面：
专辑介绍：
这是法国音乐才女Emilie Simon为2005年上映的法国纪录片La Marche De L'empereur（帝王的旅程/帝企鹅日记）所录制的这张电影原声专辑。
白雪皑皑，冰封大地，帝王企鹅（生活在南极洲的体型最大的企鹅种类）步履蹒跚的却是执著的前行着，舍弃了游刃有余的大海，孤独的背负着命运的旨意：种族的延续！
Emilie 所作的此张电影原声真可谓是精彩无比，电子加弦乐的有机结合将南极大地的冰冷入骨和帝王企鹅的使命归宿如电影场景一样的传输到聆听者的耳朵，然后只需稍稍 用想象解码即可复原欣赏。专注的跟随Emilie Simon前行，穿过大雪和风暴，为帝王企鹅祈祷，为生命的奇迹歌唱。
当我聆听这张专辑的时候，我仿佛也置身于白茫茫的南极大陆，感受着那些冰雪精灵们在寒风中在冰面上的舞蹈。
专辑曲目：
1. The Frozen World(试听)
2. Antarctic
3. The Egg
4. Song Of The Sea
5. Baby Penguins
6. Attack Of The Killerbirds
7. Aurora Australia
8. The Sea Leopard
9. Song Of The Storm
10. To The Dancers On The Ice
11. All Is White(试听)
12. The Voyage(试听)
13. Ice Girl
专辑信息来自VeryCD共享互联网
北京2008年奥运会吉祥物昨晚发布~
2005 年11月11日8时20分，北京奥组委和国际奥委会官员一起对外揭晓了北京2008年奥运会吉祥物。最终入选的是：奥林匹克圣火形象的福娃欢欢、 大熊猫形象的福娃晶晶、鱼形象的福娃贝贝、藏羚羊形象的福娃迎迎和燕子造型的福娃妮妮五个拟人化福娃。五种造型名字合在一起就意味着“北京欢迎你！” 。
——来自中国奥委会网站，《北京2008年奥运会吉祥物》
2005年11月11日星期五
孙燕姿 - 《完美的一天》
发行时间：2005年10月07日
专辑介绍:
一年的期待，金曲歌后孙燕姿将在这一样的夏天给你带来不一样的超快感……全新专 辑即将闪亮登场！让我们拭目以待从音乐制作发想开始，如何透过新的制作人从零开始是主要的关键，贾敏恕「完美的一天」，FIR+五月天+孙燕姿联合创作与 制作的「第一天」，我们可以从新的合作上，听到新的音乐性。李偲菘、李伟菘的「眼泪成诗」…向来对燕姿很有默契的掌握，亦展现了歌手在歌唱的音乐才华。除 了与新制作人的合作，在创作人与乐风上也大量使用了新的元素，新锐创作人虞洋谱出了愉快音乐性浓的「完美的一天」。「眼泪成诗」是知名作词人林夕与燕姿的 首度合作，在二胡与钢琴、弦乐的交叠下谱出了扣人心弦的情歌，整张专辑的曲风囊括了流行、摇滚、电子、Lounge Music，在这张专辑里，我们听到的是新旧音乐人的交手，激荡出精采的音乐火花。
专辑曲目：
01. 完美的一天(试听)
02. 眼泪成诗
03. 隐形人
04. 流浪地图
05. 第一天
06. Honey Honey(试听) | Updated @ 11-17
07. 心愿
08. 另一张脸
09. 梦不落
10. 明天晴天
以上信息来自VeryCD分享互联网
2005年11月10日星期四
Yahoo!中国转型，开始专攻搜索
新发布的Yahoo!中国首页“雅虎醒了，雅虎来了，雅虎要下山了。”昨天下午，阿里巴巴公司在完成对雅虎中国的收购与整合之后,重新发布了进入中国市场7年之久的雅虎网站。发布会主持人用一连串的词语形容说，新雅虎要以猛虎的态势进攻国内的搜索市场。最终Yahoo!中国被阿里巴巴所收购并进行了重新整合，据说这次新发布的Yahoo!搜索已经整合了3721、Yisou以及原来的Yahoo!三大搜索引擎。从今以后新版Yahoo!也就只做搜索业务、有限的娱乐、体育及财经等新闻内容了。
——来自: 《北京晚报》，“新雅虎号称比百度‘更有钱’”
UPDATE @ Sep. 11th
刚刚看到，曾经归属Yahoo!中国的搜索引擎“一搜”也“谢幕”了。
“一搜”深情谢幕，雅虎搜索全新登场！更多相关新闻在:
Google News
New Yahoo! Search
2005年11月6日星期日
"Google个性化主页(Personalized Homepage)" 推出中文版
Google 早已推出测试的Google个性化主页终于推出了中文版，其中的所有服务都是由中国的著名站点提供，如新浪中国、网易、中关村在线等。我以前添加的英文版 块也有部分经过了中文化，但是郁闷的是“天气”服务中居然没有“中国”，而是澳大利亚、美国、巴西，还有一些欧洲国家。看来Google也是正在完善中。 期待真正的完全中文化Google个性化主页的早日出现！
2005年11月2日星期三
捍卫维*基*百科 | Wiki*pedia.org
为防止出现访问问题，我在网址之间加上了“*”。坏消息又来了。深受众多网友欢迎的维*基*百科(Wiki*pedia.org)被屏蔽了！
事出有因，我也是刚刚才看到，引用一些Blog和报道：
Dash's Blog
CNBeta
一网到底
Baidu贴吧
Baidu搜索
目前我这里仍旧无法访问。
通过Google，可以看到中文Wiki上写道：另请注意：如果您未登入帐户，您所作的任何编辑都将显露IP地址。登入帐户后编辑时，IP地址会被隐藏。
新闻报道：
维*基*百科资深系统管理员 Tim Starling 发布消息说:“中国大陆暂时可访问,我刚才在韩国服务器集群上配置了 squid 的 LVS load balancer,维*基*百科的亚洲网络流量都通过这个.由于改变了 IP,中国大陆用户在政府再次封禁之前,可以访问维*基*百科了.”也就是说本次的解封与中国官方无关.
UPDATE:
访问方法请见这篇帖子：http://marcher.com.cn/2006/02/wikipedia.html
2005年11月1日星期二
崔永元逗老外逗出的震撼
据查，是2000年5月14日的《实话实说》节目。我没看过那一期《实话实说》，但看过这一篇文章，当时就被深深地感动，其实重要的不是他是哪一国人，而是在这个物欲社会中安于清贫、坚守自己做人的良心、坚守自己理想的精神。
丁大卫是个美国人。我认识他是在电视上。这个美国人带给了我深深的感动。我受到深深感动的这天是中央电视台《实话实说》节目组请到了丁大卫。我打开电视，就听到丁大卫在与崔永元唠嗑。崔永元老笑，而丁大卫很诚恳的样子。
丁大卫的故事是这样的：5年前，美国青年丁大卫来到中国。他到了中国一所最普通的郊区小学教学。这个美国青年因为做人与教学深得人的喜欢，后来居然当上了校长。大概是1998年底，想到中国西部去看一看的丁大卫到了甘肃兰州。他到西北民族学院应聘当大学教师。丁大卫不是一个能侃的人，机智的崔永元是这样“套”丁大卫的。
“丁大卫，你去大学应聘的时候，是不是这样说的：‘我曾是一名小学教师，积累了一些教学经验，所以来你校应聘大学教师？’”没想到丁大卫这样回答:“大概就是这样的。”大卫的话让现场很多观众都会心地笑了。
更有意思的还在后头。学校给大卫定的工资是每月1200元。大卫去问别人，1200元在兰州是不是很高了？别人说，是算高了。于是，大卫主动找到学校，让人把工资降到900元。学校一再坚持，大卫不让，说：怎么也不能超过1000元。最后，学校给他每月950元。这段经历本来很好笑，但是我注意到现场没一个人笑。
崔永元问：“大卫，你每月工资够用吗？”大卫说：“够了，我每月的钱除了买些饭票，就用来买些邮票，给家里打打电话，三四百元就够了！”
我听见观众中有不少人“哇”地一声发出惊叹。我知道是有人灵魂受到触动了，而这种触动是我们的教科书和父母的教化所达不到的。而真正让我感动的还是以下一幕：
别出心裁的编导在做这一期节目时，让丁大卫带来了他所有的家当. 一只还不及我们平常出门旅游背的那么大而“内容”丰富的帆布袋。而让我们怎么也想不到的是，这便是一个美国青年在中国生存5年积累下的我们肉眼看得到的财富。崔永元让丁大卫向大家展示一下他的家当，大卫的脸红了一下，打开了他的帆布袋，里面的东西是这样的：
1、一*大卫家乡足球队的队帽。他戴着向人展示时，我看见了他眼里的骄傲。
2、一本相册。里面是他亲人、朋友，还有他教过的学生的照片。
3、一个用精致相框镶好的一家人温馨亲昵的合影（大卫从包里掏出时，相框面上的玻璃被压碎了，大卫的脸上露出不易察觉的心痛的表情。不一会儿，节目组的人把一个赶着去买来的相框送给了大卫。中央台这一着似平凡的举动令我感动和叹服，它是那么及时地体现了善解人意的内涵和我们对外国友人的尊重）。
4、两套换洗的衣服，其中有一件军装上装。那是大卫爸爸年轻时当兵穿过的，整整40年了。大卫向观众展示时，很有些骄傲地说：因为它漂亮啊！
5、一双未洗的普通的运动鞋。那甚至不是一双品牌球鞋，大卫将它拿出来的时候，说什么也不让崔永元碰一下，他说：“这鞋很臭的！”
6、几件以饭盆、口杯、牙刷、剃须刀为阵容的生活必需品。
7、一面随身带着的鲜艳的五星红旗。
当美国青年丁大卫将一面中国国旗打开，向现场的观众展示时，偌大的演播厅里鸦雀无声，现场乐队深情地奏响了《我的祖国》的旋律。崔永元问大卫：你怎么会时时将五星红旗带在身边？丁大卫说：我时时带着它，就是为了提醒自己，我现在是在中国，我要多说美丽的中文，有人到我房间里来，看着墙上挂着的五星红旗，也会缩小我们之间的差距。再说，看到这面国旗，我就会告诫自己：你现在是一位中国教师，你要多为中国教书育人。
丁大卫的普普通通的话，让我从另一个角度认识了我们的国旗，也让我的眼泪不听话地掉下来。当崔永元问丁大卫在中国感觉苦不苦时，丁大卫说，很好的，比如这次你们中央台就让我这样一个平凡的人来做嘉宾，而且还让我坐飞机，吃很好的饭菜。我看见崔永元有些不好意思地脸红了，他幽默地说：“我觉得你挺像我们中国的一个人？雷锋！”丁大卫想了想，说：“还真有点儿像。”大伙儿“轰”地一声善意地笑开了。“只是，雷锋挺平常的，他只是一个凭良心做事的人，这样的人不应该只有一个，每个人都应该做得到的！”他认真地补充道。没有人再笑了，就连崔永元的脸上都显出了小学生的表情。节目快结束时，崔永元对丁大卫说：“丁大卫，你听到过人家对你的评价吗？”丁大卫笑笑说：“没有！”崔永元说：“好，现在我们就让你来听听。”我们于是看到了这样一组外采镜头：
许多丁大卫的同事，丁大卫教过的学生，以及学生的家长在镜头前交替着出现，他们一一地说着丁大卫的可敬与可爱之处，有的人情到深处时，甚至泪盈于眶。一个大学女孩对着镜头说：“丁老师从来没骂过我，但我真的好怕他啊，因为我怕看他因我而失望的样子！”而最后我们看到的一个镜头是：丁老师教过的那所小学的孩子们，一个个争着抢到镜头前流着泪喊：你回来教我们吧！
我们看见，丁大卫不敢再看大屏幕，他深深地把头埋下。一个美国青年，却在中国得到了人世间最珍贵的东西，我的心为之一颤。朴素的平凡的甚至不很英俊的丁大卫，给我们上了最有教益的一课！这样的一课，我们的课本上是没有的！
丁大卫是个美国人。我认识他是在电视上。这个美国人带给了我深深的感动。我受到深深感动的这天是中央电视台《实话实说》节目组请到了丁大卫。我打开电视，就听到丁大卫在与崔永元唠嗑。崔永元老笑，而丁大卫很诚恳的样子。
丁大卫的故事是这样的：5年前，美国青年丁大卫来到中国。他到了中国一所最普通的郊区小学教学。这个美国青年因为做人与教学深得人的喜欢，后来居然当上了校长。大概是1998年底，想到中国西部去看一看的丁大卫到了甘肃兰州。他到西北民族学院应聘当大学教师。丁大卫不是一个能侃的人，机智的崔永元是这样“套”丁大卫的。
“丁大卫，你去大学应聘的时候，是不是这样说的：‘我曾是一名小学教师，积累了一些教学经验，所以来你校应聘大学教师？’”没想到丁大卫这样回答:“大概就是这样的。”大卫的话让现场很多观众都会心地笑了。
更有意思的还在后头。学校给大卫定的工资是每月1200元。大卫去问别人，1200元在兰州是不是很高了？别人说，是算高了。于是，大卫主动找到学校，让人把工资降到900元。学校一再坚持，大卫不让，说：怎么也不能超过1000元。最后，学校给他每月950元。这段经历本来很好笑，但是我注意到现场没一个人笑。
崔永元问：“大卫，你每月工资够用吗？”大卫说：“够了，我每月的钱除了买些饭票，就用来买些邮票，给家里打打电话，三四百元就够了！”
我听见观众中有不少人“哇”地一声发出惊叹。我知道是有人灵魂受到触动了，而这种触动是我们的教科书和父母的教化所达不到的。而真正让我感动的还是以下一幕：
别出心裁的编导在做这一期节目时，让丁大卫带来了他所有的家当. 一只还不及我们平常出门旅游背的那么大而“内容”丰富的帆布袋。而让我们怎么也想不到的是，这便是一个美国青年在中国生存5年积累下的我们肉眼看得到的财富。崔永元让丁大卫向大家展示一下他的家当，大卫的脸红了一下，打开了他的帆布袋，里面的东西是这样的：
1、一*大卫家乡足球队的队帽。他戴着向人展示时，我看见了他眼里的骄傲。
2、一本相册。里面是他亲人、朋友，还有他教过的学生的照片。
3、一个用精致相框镶好的一家人温馨亲昵的合影（大卫从包里掏出时，相框面上的玻璃被压碎了，大卫的脸上露出不易察觉的心痛的表情。不一会儿，节目组的人把一个赶着去买来的相框送给了大卫。中央台这一着似平凡的举动令我感动和叹服，它是那么及时地体现了善解人意的内涵和我们对外国友人的尊重）。
4、两套换洗的衣服，其中有一件军装上装。那是大卫爸爸年轻时当兵穿过的，整整40年了。大卫向观众展示时，很有些骄傲地说：因为它漂亮啊！
5、一双未洗的普通的运动鞋。那甚至不是一双品牌球鞋，大卫将它拿出来的时候，说什么也不让崔永元碰一下，他说：“这鞋很臭的！”
6、几件以饭盆、口杯、牙刷、剃须刀为阵容的生活必需品。
7、一面随身带着的鲜艳的五星红旗。
当美国青年丁大卫将一面中国国旗打开，向现场的观众展示时，偌大的演播厅里鸦雀无声，现场乐队深情地奏响了《我的祖国》的旋律。崔永元问大卫：你怎么会时时将五星红旗带在身边？丁大卫说：我时时带着它，就是为了提醒自己，我现在是在中国，我要多说美丽的中文，有人到我房间里来，看着墙上挂着的五星红旗，也会缩小我们之间的差距。再说，看到这面国旗，我就会告诫自己：你现在是一位中国教师，你要多为中国教书育人。
丁大卫的普普通通的话，让我从另一个角度认识了我们的国旗，也让我的眼泪不听话地掉下来。当崔永元问丁大卫在中国感觉苦不苦时，丁大卫说，很好的，比如这次你们中央台就让我这样一个平凡的人来做嘉宾，而且还让我坐飞机，吃很好的饭菜。我看见崔永元有些不好意思地脸红了，他幽默地说：“我觉得你挺像我们中国的一个人？雷锋！”丁大卫想了想，说：“还真有点儿像。”大伙儿“轰”地一声善意地笑开了。“只是，雷锋挺平常的，他只是一个凭良心做事的人，这样的人不应该只有一个，每个人都应该做得到的！”他认真地补充道。没有人再笑了，就连崔永元的脸上都显出了小学生的表情。节目快结束时，崔永元对丁大卫说：“丁大卫，你听到过人家对你的评价吗？”丁大卫笑笑说：“没有！”崔永元说：“好，现在我们就让你来听听。”我们于是看到了这样一组外采镜头：
许多丁大卫的同事，丁大卫教过的学生，以及学生的家长在镜头前交替着出现，他们一一地说着丁大卫的可敬与可爱之处，有的人情到深处时，甚至泪盈于眶。一个大学女孩对着镜头说：“丁老师从来没骂过我，但我真的好怕他啊，因为我怕看他因我而失望的样子！”而最后我们看到的一个镜头是：丁老师教过的那所小学的孩子们，一个个争着抢到镜头前流着泪喊：你回来教我们吧！
我们看见，丁大卫不敢再看大屏幕，他深深地把头埋下。一个美国青年，却在中国得到了人世间最珍贵的东西，我的心为之一颤。朴素的平凡的甚至不很英俊的丁大卫，给我们上了最有教益的一课！这样的一课，我们的课本上是没有的！
2005年10月30日星期日
Sina2005网络歌曲排行榜：《我爱人民币》
主打作品:我爱人民币
作词:刘正标
作曲:吴品醇
姓名：吴品醇 英文名：Jason 编号：100012
性别： 男 年龄： 26 地区： 南京
教育： 本科 身高： 176cm 体重： 66kg
民族： 汉 血型： A型 星座： 处女座
活动页面
《我爱人民币》新浪试听页面
歌词:
我热爱学习 坚持锻炼身体
我工作努力 搞活市场经济
我认为赚钱是一种乐趣
只要取之有道 天经地义
我喜欢shopping 保持愉快心情
我酷爱旅行 周游世界各地
我觉得花钱是一种刺激
只要量体裁衣 合情合理
我讨厌dollar(堕落) 不喜欢卢比
不论走到哪里 都用人民币
我爱人民币 没有商量的余地
坚挺的人民币 我爱它到底
我讨厌汇率 不喜欢算计
不论走到哪里 都用人民币
我爱人民币 无需任何的道理
伟大的人民币 创造着奇迹
一张 两张 三张四张
五张六张七张 八张人民币
我存了半年的积蓄
狠下心 咬着牙 买了随身听
听见 某男和某女 拉埋天窗的消息
何如请客送礼 成了世界难题
恍惚中 走进某某电器
(同志) 您这卖不卖取款机
作词:刘正标
作曲:吴品醇
姓名：吴品醇 英文名：Jason 编号：100012
性别： 男 年龄： 26 地区： 南京
教育： 本科 身高： 176cm 体重： 66kg
民族： 汉 血型： A型 星座： 处女座
活动页面
《我爱人民币》新浪试听页面
歌词:
我热爱学习 坚持锻炼身体
我工作努力 搞活市场经济
我认为赚钱是一种乐趣
只要取之有道 天经地义
我喜欢shopping 保持愉快心情
我酷爱旅行 周游世界各地
我觉得花钱是一种刺激
只要量体裁衣 合情合理
我讨厌dollar(堕落) 不喜欢卢比
不论走到哪里 都用人民币
我爱人民币 没有商量的余地
坚挺的人民币 我爱它到底
我讨厌汇率 不喜欢算计
不论走到哪里 都用人民币
我爱人民币 无需任何的道理
伟大的人民币 创造着奇迹
一张 两张 三张四张
五张六张七张 八张人民币
我存了半年的积蓄
狠下心 咬着牙 买了随身听
听见 某男和某女 拉埋天窗的消息
何如请客送礼 成了世界难题
恍惚中 走进某某电器
(同志) 您这卖不卖取款机
2005年10月25日星期二
他们说……
原文引用网址(Trackback URL)：http://hopesome.com/wp-trackback.php?418
功在不舍的内心独白[MP3]
这是功在不舍寄来的Podcast。
功在不舍是一个很特别的学生。
初中读了五年，高中读了五年。
明年，和他同龄的同学大学毕业，而他，高中毕业。
痴迷于艺术的功在不舍，梦想成为中国的梵高、中国的毕加索。
虽是阳光遍洒的年龄，但他总是在太阳背后看风景—-他的外号是“烦恼加工厂厂长”。
读书、应试、文凭，在这条传统的路上，有多少人走过，多少人成功，又有多少人才被扼杀？
功在不舍是纯净、透明的—-但他只能面对一个模糊、不确定的未来。
功在不舍告诉我，他准备建一个网站Arthings.com。
这是一个连他自己和佛祖都不知道什么时候能建好的网站。
但这，或许就是个希望？
---------------------------------------------------
VeryCD 的 Dash 是这么说的。
引用网址(Trackback URL)：http://bbs.verycd.com/index.php?automodule=blog&cmd=showentry&blogid=1&eid=16255
妈妈说：“读好书长大才有出息。”
爸爸说：“多一张文凭，总是好的。”
xdanger说：“会改到周二开吧，周一早上要去见导师，枪手做的东西不知道行不行。”
晓东说：“老子读了2年大学，又被骗回去读高复了”
sosoke老板说：“不要应届毕业生。”
流氓说：“毕业论文在网上有卖，100元一篇，拿回来稍微改改就行了”
交大说：“为了保证毕业生就业率，找不到工作的不能拿毕业证。”
GGSoSo说：“大学这个市场多大啊，那么多本科生，那么多研究生，以后研究生和本科生一样多了。”
Soar说：“学费别急着交，考试先通过再说。”
Thilon说：“你们的招聘怎么那么怪？为什么不看重学历？”
小广告说：“代办学历文凭。”
功在不舍说：“中国的教育摧残了多少人，中国的教育又成就了多少人。”
山沟里的孩子说：“我要读书！”
Dash说：“老子不读了！”
功在不舍的内心独白[MP3]
- 录音内容
- 不知道是什么原因 这两天心情特别的不好
我也不知道该从何说起 大概是因为快要开学了吧
父母总是说我有一种开学综合症 读书综合症 考学综合症
是啊 读了这么多年书 难免会得那么一些综合症
我琢磨着 在中国 估计找不出几个像我这样的学生
初中读了五年 高中读了五年
九月一号 噢不 是九月四号 便开始我第五年的高中
第五年的高中啊 想象五年的初中 已经过了四年的高中
我人生最阳光最灿烂的日子 就这么过去了
而我以前的同学 明年也即将大学毕业 我明年是高中毕业
挺有意思
或许 造成这个差异的原因都是 因为我自己
是因为我叛逆 我去追求自己的理想
我不喜欢那些死板的教材 死板的人 死板的一切
我宁可喜欢偷偷地在上课的时候
翻些小人书 翻些杂志 哪怕只是报纸
或许我不是一个好学生 我上课经常走神 不知道在想些什么
脑子里总是转悠着我的梦想 我的艺术
我只相信自己是个艺术家 我可以创作出很美的艺术
我可以是梵·高第二 毕加索第二
中国还没有梵·高和毕加索的出现 为什么我不可以呢
我对艺术是如此的执著和追求
可是 几乎 几乎听不到人们的赞许
艺术是何其的孤独啊
漫漫长路 不被人理解
如果说 这么多年我学到了什么 我真的很难讲
还有什么值得我可以期待的呢
以前有一个朋友给我起个外号
叫 烦恼加工厂厂长
这个外号 我已经背了好多年
始终脱不开这个烦恼的枷锁
可是谁又能脱开烦恼呢
是人总得有一些烦恼
家家有本难念的经 人人有烦恼的心
我还有最后一年高中 我不知道这最后一年的高中我该怎么过
如果换作是别人的话 早该是什么的补习班 进修班
从早到晚的去补习 从早到晚的做功课做作业 每天埋在书堆里
或许他们是对的 也或许我看得太清楚了
在中国这个社会 你不读书你还能做什么呢
不读书你没有文凭 你拿什么去证明你
你有什么资格去证明找一份工作
有什么能力 去为自己的明天 去承担这个责任
话虽是这么说 可是 我真的是一个骨头很硬的人
岁数一年一年的在长大 我开始沉淀我自己
我想 我也应该是时候把我的心放下来
冷静地想一想这些问题
什么究竟是我需要的 而什么又是不需要的
每天我都很晚睡 我喜欢深夜带给我的这种感觉
很安静 我只有自己一个人 我可以遨游在自己的世界里
我可以驰骋自己的思想
就仿佛每年夏天我就喜欢去游泳池里游泳一样
当我深吸一口气 潜到水的时候
我知道 那时我要的感觉 做一条鱼的感觉
周围很安静 水很透明
我想 我的心也应该是透明的吧 很干净
世间有多少的甘苦我还没有体会过
我没有资格在这里多说些什么
我不知道 一个人去坚持自己的理想
而背叛他父母的愿望 该如何去评判 该如何去说
权当我是一个不孝之子吧
真的很对不起 我不知道这最后一年会发生什么
一个艺术家是不应该受压迫的
中国的教育 摧残了多少人
中国的教育 又成就了多少人
我只希望自己的心 慢慢的平静 慢慢的平静 慢慢的平静
再过三天 我就要走了
我只是舍不得离开 舍不得离开我自己的世界
算了吧 算了吧
这是功在不舍寄来的Podcast。
功在不舍是一个很特别的学生。
初中读了五年，高中读了五年。
明年，和他同龄的同学大学毕业，而他，高中毕业。
痴迷于艺术的功在不舍，梦想成为中国的梵高、中国的毕加索。
虽是阳光遍洒的年龄，但他总是在太阳背后看风景—-他的外号是“烦恼加工厂厂长”。
读书、应试、文凭，在这条传统的路上，有多少人走过，多少人成功，又有多少人才被扼杀？
功在不舍是纯净、透明的—-但他只能面对一个模糊、不确定的未来。
功在不舍告诉我，他准备建一个网站Arthings.com。
这是一个连他自己和佛祖都不知道什么时候能建好的网站。
但这，或许就是个希望？
---------------------------------------------------
VeryCD 的 Dash 是这么说的。
引用网址(Trackback URL)：http://bbs.verycd.com/index.php?automodule=blog&cmd=showentry&blogid=1&eid=16255
妈妈说：“读好书长大才有出息。”
爸爸说：“多一张文凭，总是好的。”
xdanger说：“会改到周二开吧，周一早上要去见导师，枪手做的东西不知道行不行。”
晓东说：“老子读了2年大学，又被骗回去读高复了”
sosoke老板说：“不要应届毕业生。”
流氓说：“毕业论文在网上有卖，100元一篇，拿回来稍微改改就行了”
交大说：“为了保证毕业生就业率，找不到工作的不能拿毕业证。”
GGSoSo说：“大学这个市场多大啊，那么多本科生，那么多研究生，以后研究生和本科生一样多了。”
Soar说：“学费别急着交，考试先通过再说。”
Thilon说：“你们的招聘怎么那么怪？为什么不看重学历？”
小广告说：“代办学历文凭。”
功在不舍说：“中国的教育摧残了多少人，中国的教育又成就了多少人。”
山沟里的孩子说：“我要读书！”
Dash说：“老子不读了！”
KAV2005"网页安全扫描"不可用的解决方法
问：我的金山毒霸2005网页安全扫描不可用，这是什么问题？
答：此情况一般都是因为服务没有被正确地加载，可能的原因：老版本毒霸没有卸载干净；其他软件冲突（比如安装完毒霸2005，再安装卡巴斯基2006beta并开启卡巴的网页监控，会出现这种情况，卸载卡巴之后就正常了）。你可以试试下面这个方法：开始，运行，输入：
regsvr32 "E:\Program Files\KAV2005\KAScript.DLL"
(假设金山毒霸安装在E:\Program Files\）
============================================
如果您的金山毒霸2005出现了网页安全扫描提示为不可用，一般有可能是以下的一种或多种原因造成的：
1、安装了其他杀毒软件。如果您的系统除了毒霸2005之外，还安装了其他的反病毒软件，就有可能出现网页监控的相互冲突，导致毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用。这时候您可以选择开始菜单－程序－金山毒霸2005－添加删除金山毒霸－修复安装即可恢复金山毒霸的网页安全扫描。
2、安装了有网页脚本扫描功能的类似软件。如果您的系统安装了一些带有网页保护功能的软件，就有可能出现相互冲突（比如金山安全助手），导致毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用。这时候您可以选择开始菜单－程序－金山毒霸2005－添加删除金山毒霸－修复安装即可恢复金山毒霸的网页安全扫描。
3、您使用Windows XP的用户切换功能。如果您使用了Windows XP的用户切换功能，您可以进入金山毒霸2005的综合设置，设置一下即可开启网页安全扫描。注意：如果由于您安装了其他反病毒软件或者带有网页保护功能的软件以后，出现了毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用，而经过对毒霸的修复安装以后，这时候网页安全扫描变成正常。但是过了一定时候再次出现毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用，这个是因为某些反病毒软件或者一些带有网页保护功能的软件可能会自动修复其网页监控，这时候就会再次导致毒霸网页安全扫描不可用，遇到这种情况您可以禁用其他反病毒软件、其他的网页保护软件或者拆卸它们后再修复安装毒霸即可。
答：此情况一般都是因为服务没有被正确地加载，可能的原因：老版本毒霸没有卸载干净；其他软件冲突（比如安装完毒霸2005，再安装卡巴斯基2006beta并开启卡巴的网页监控，会出现这种情况，卸载卡巴之后就正常了）。你可以试试下面这个方法：开始，运行，输入：
regsvr32 "E:\Program Files\KAV2005\KAScript.DLL"
(假设金山毒霸安装在E:\Program Files\）
============================================
如果您的金山毒霸2005出现了网页安全扫描提示为不可用，一般有可能是以下的一种或多种原因造成的：
1、安装了其他杀毒软件。如果您的系统除了毒霸2005之外，还安装了其他的反病毒软件，就有可能出现网页监控的相互冲突，导致毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用。这时候您可以选择开始菜单－程序－金山毒霸2005－添加删除金山毒霸－修复安装即可恢复金山毒霸的网页安全扫描。
2、安装了有网页脚本扫描功能的类似软件。如果您的系统安装了一些带有网页保护功能的软件，就有可能出现相互冲突（比如金山安全助手），导致毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用。这时候您可以选择开始菜单－程序－金山毒霸2005－添加删除金山毒霸－修复安装即可恢复金山毒霸的网页安全扫描。
3、您使用Windows XP的用户切换功能。如果您使用了Windows XP的用户切换功能，您可以进入金山毒霸2005的综合设置，设置一下即可开启网页安全扫描。注意：如果由于您安装了其他反病毒软件或者带有网页保护功能的软件以后，出现了毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用，而经过对毒霸的修复安装以后，这时候网页安全扫描变成正常。但是过了一定时候再次出现毒霸的网页安全扫描不可用，这个是因为某些反病毒软件或者一些带有网页保护功能的软件可能会自动修复其网页监控，这时候就会再次导致毒霸网页安全扫描不可用，遇到这种情况您可以禁用其他反病毒软件、其他的网页保护软件或者拆卸它们后再修复安装毒霸即可。
2005年10月22日星期六
喜欢Google？把Google设置为IE默认搜索引擎吧！
看来Google为用户想得够多的了。对于简体中文Windows用户，可能总是被系统指引到3721搜索。Google早就为我们准备好了一个简单的设置方法。
Google为我们准备的Reg文件地址：http://www.google.com/google.reg
该文件适用于 IE 4-6，且导入Reg必须登录为Administrator权限用户才可以。
如果你不喜欢把Google搜索结果显示在“频道”窗口，而想把结果显示在IE主窗口里，那么尝试这个文件：http://www.google.com/google_rsearch.reg
将任意一个Reg文件导入你的Windows注册表即可把 Internet Explorer 的默认搜索引擎改为 Google。
想恢复 IE 原来的搜索引擎？Google也给我们准备好了。http://www.google.com/default.reg
Make Google Your Default Search Engine!
Google为我们准备的Reg文件地址：http://www.google.com/google.reg
该文件适用于 IE 4-6，且导入Reg必须登录为Administrator权限用户才可以。
如果你不喜欢把Google搜索结果显示在“频道”窗口，而想把结果显示在IE主窗口里，那么尝试这个文件：http://www.google.com/google_rsearch.reg
将任意一个Reg文件导入你的Windows注册表即可把 Internet Explorer 的默认搜索引擎改为 Google。
想恢复 IE 原来的搜索引擎？Google也给我们准备好了。http://www.google.com/default.reg
Make Google Your Default Search Engine!
2005年10月21日星期五
百度败诉MP3搜索遭封杀
转载自YNET.COM
随着唱片公司诉百度案的不断升级，ＭＰ３搜索何去何从的问题眼下成了众多媒体的关注热点。面对媒体，败诉后的百度对这个话题一直呈犹抱琵琶半遮面之态；而版权条例制定机构则三缄其口；唱片公司则是一家接一家地表示要与搜索公司在法庭上对质；还有一些评论家也在指责搜索引擎在版权上犯下了“七宗罪”。所有的迹象似乎都在预示着ＭＰ３免费搜索的消失，取消网民们的种种免费大餐似乎成了趋势。
败诉没有意外
百度的败诉并不令人意外，因为依据５月３０日由国家版权局、信息产业部共同制定的《互联网著作权行政保护办法》规定，任何以互联网的形式，未经著作权人许可使用作品的这种方式，都是侵权行为，包括音乐作品。权利人有权主张权利，司法部门和行政部门可以根据网站侵权的性质和程度，分别给予法律的处理。然而这其中并没有具体的处罚规定。但是，众所周知，互联网正是因其拥有各类便捷、海量的免费信息与应用才成为人们追捧的焦点。而各类数字版权的拥有者们也曾借此享受了最广泛的知名度传播的快感，甚至是借此获取了巨大的收益。
封杀将引发倒退？
网络著名评论家方兴东日前在接受记者采访时指出，搜索网站若是停止ＭＰ３搜索就是一种倒退，是一种不顾及中国亿万网民利益的行为。百度、搜狐、中搜、雅虎、网易的相关负责人均肯定地表示，不会停止提供ＭＰ３及其他任何搜索业务。
上周，中国搜索ＣＯＯ陈波在接受记者采访时更是旗帜鲜明地表示，封杀ＭＰ３将导致互联网大倒退，而要求搜索引擎公司去核实版权更是灾难性的后果，中搜誓将ＭＰ３搜索进行到底。唱片公司以搜索结果中存在无版权的ＭＰ３链接将搜索引擎公司请上了被告席，显然是不合理的。搜索引擎的目的是方便网民在互联网天文数字般的信息中找到他们自己所需要的，并且在这一过程中，尽可能多地提供符合网民需要的信息链接点。作为搜索工具，搜索引擎不应该也不可能承担核实版权的义务。此外，数据庞大的网页也不可能让搜索引擎公司有时间去核实所提供的链接是否具有版权，如果搜索引擎要核实每一个搜索结果的版权合法性，那么以中搜为例，自己搜索引擎的９亿中文网页需要４００人每分钟一个网页的速度看１６００天。如果唱片公司此次能借势关掉中国搜索引擎公司的ＭＰ３搜索，就会出现多米诺骨牌效应，所有的与链接和搜索有关的中国互联网服务都将迎来一场封杀噩梦，中国互联网将面临一场大倒退。
搜索不是盗贼
在记者的采访中，前述５家网站对于版权的问题除百度不愿表态外，其他几家基本的看法是搜索引擎是搜索引擎，免费下载是免费下载，两者是无关的，真正的被告不应该是搜索引擎。
有业内人士指出，ＭＰ３搜索是搜索引擎专业化的一种，它和新闻搜索、图片搜索、ＢＢＳ搜索等专项搜索一样，是因为搜索目的和排序方法的独特而从网页搜索中分离出来的搜索引擎子集。它既有搜索引擎的通用技术，也有和ＭＰ３相关的专有技术，是互联网音频信息搜索的一个重要工具。网页搜索和其他专项搜索一样，搜索引擎在处理有ＭＰ３文件的网页时，是通过计算机算法来分析可能和它相关的内容，让用户通过关键词来找到这个网页。它是提供互联网服务的技术，是一个提供海量信息的大平台。虽然免费下载一般都是建立在搜索基础之上，但搜索引擎并不等于免费下载。
四方博弈共赢最好
对于经营搜索引擎的企业为免费下载造成的侵权行为“买单”这个问题，陈波认为，ＭＰ３案件是一个四方博弈的过程，即：唱片方、搜索引擎、提供无版权音乐的网站主、网民。在四方博弈过程中间，我们支持版权拥有者的正当权益，但也必须尊重网民和搜索引擎的权益。唱片公司因为无法一个个去起诉数量庞大的提供无版权音乐的网站，转而将枪口对准搜索引擎，这样的结果是ＭＰ３搜索将被封杀，网民再也无法利用搜索下载音乐，唱片公司也将因此失去大量客户。可笑的是，那些真正的盗贼，提供无版权音乐的网站却是逍遥自在。既然对抗和封杀无法解决问题，博弈各方就应该立足合作和发展，真正把精力集中到行业的发展上。唱片公司可以跟搜索引擎合作，借此宣传、促销、推广正版音乐。这方面有很多合作的可能，但是前提必须是共赢。
■相关链接
百度诉讼案
６月初，国际唱片业协会及其成员向百度发出了律师信，随后各公司分别针对百度提起诉讼。
６月２０日，ＥＭＩ在上海的分支机构——上海步升音乐文化传播有限公司对百度提起诉讼。
９月１６日，北京海淀法院一审判决北京百度网讯科技有限公司败诉，其侵权事实成立。并处以赔偿原告经济损失６８０００元?穴按每首歌２０００元计算?雪。该判决一经公布，立刻引起了连锁反应，包括环球唱片、百代唱片、华纳唱片、索尼ＢＭＧ等国际唱片业巨头在内的７家公司已于９月末在北京提起诉讼，指控百度公司的搜索引擎侵犯了它们数百首歌曲的版权。要求法院判令百度公司立即停止提供涉案歌曲的在线播放和下载服务，在百度网站和《法制日报》上公开赔礼道歉，并赔偿经济损失和调查费用共计１６７万元。
2005年10月19日星期三
韩乔生 - 妙语连珠
1.随着守门员一声哨响，比赛结束了。
2.各位观众，中秋节刚过，我给大家拜个晚年。
3.现在由中国队守门员范志毅开任意球
4.可能有的观众刚刚打开电梯，我们再把比分......
5.韩的大哥蔡说：叶钊颖的父亲是原浙江省羽毛球队的守门员.
6.罗纳耳多将球传给因扎吉，因扎吉射门，高了...
7.巴乔在前有追兵，后有堵截的情况下带球冲入禁区...?
8.水晶宫队已经赛了7场,2胜2平4负...
9.这球算进,裁判判进球无效...
11."皮耶罗为什么在国家队表现没有在尤文图斯好呢？因为他在国家队没有身后德约卡夫和齐达内的支援。"
12."托里彻利因伤不能上场，国际米兰防守实力大减。"（此时韩旁边的张慧德老师指，托里彻利正在场上。）
13."上半场尤文图斯对罗纳尔多和因扎吉的防守相当成功。"
14."不管罗纳尔多拿没拿球，国际米兰总有3到4名队员防守他。"
15."罗纳尔多和皮耶罗的配合比上半场好得多。"
16."已经有很多俱乐部表示要购买皮耶罗，拉齐奥出价3000万美圆，曼联（阿森纳）出价更高，2800万美圆。"
17."帕柳卡又一次化解了罗纳尔多极有威胁的射门。"
18.德甲，大嘴道："××队后卫严重犯规，裁判将前锋××罚下场。"
19.德甲，"现在场上火药味很脓，双方教练也争风吃醋。""两队队员在场上你争我抢，两队的教练也在场下争风吃醋。"
20.中国四员小将在欧洲……(范已经30了)
21.佛罗伦萨队中场犯规，不，在禁区前罚球弧顶犯规，..
22.AC米兰就像一台计算机，内存挺大，大到奔腾II代，可是运行不快，可能是感染电脑病毒，看来主教练扎切罗尼需要一张杀毒的硬盘！！！！！！
23.因为李金羽的身高比对方队员矮,因此在拚抢的时候他的肘部碰到了对方的脸上。
24."你看她们的短裤也很有意思，网球运动员的短裤是特制的，里面可以放好几个球不掉出来。奥，她们穿的是裙子。"
25.（亚运会武术比赛）中国运动员出场了，只见她一条枪舞得如蛟龙出水，虎虎生风。不禁让我们想起了我国三国时代的常山赵子龙，猛张飞，关羽关云长...关羽使的是刀...（眼睛离开手中的稿子瞥了一眼赛场）奥，对不起，她使的是棍...
26.守门员将球回传给门将
27.主教练将xx队的裁判罚出场外
28.AC米兰队目前以1:3领先
29.把球一脚射进了大门,...我们来看看慢动作,...哦,...是用头顶进的
30."只见防守队员一个队员两条腿，两个队员四条腿，三个队员...."
31.亚运会,韩大嘴说："....×××以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势............"
32.他说，队员在平时的训练中一定要加强体能和对抗性训练，这样才能适应比赛中的激烈程度，否则的话，就会像不倒翁一样一撞就倒。
33.国外的球员都非常敬业，比如马特乌斯，小孩出生3个月后就上场比赛了。在国家对与哥伦比亚的一场比赛中，他也制造了几个经典。
34.范志毅前几天还在发高烧，高烧36度8；守门员区楚良身高1米82，体重28公斤。
35.中国队一脚射门，被区楚良奋勇扑出。
36.韩大嘴解说德甲，说:"我统计了一下前八轮的进球和失球总数，惊奇的发现一个巧合，那就是它们刚好一样多。"
37.XX队员就像桃源三结义的赵云一样勇猛，不愧为长胜将军。
2.各位观众，中秋节刚过，我给大家拜个晚年。
3.现在由中国队守门员范志毅开任意球
4.可能有的观众刚刚打开电梯，我们再把比分......
5.韩的大哥蔡说：叶钊颖的父亲是原浙江省羽毛球队的守门员.
6.罗纳耳多将球传给因扎吉，因扎吉射门，高了...
7.巴乔在前有追兵，后有堵截的情况下带球冲入禁区...?
8.水晶宫队已经赛了7场,2胜2平4负...
9.这球算进,裁判判进球无效...
11."皮耶罗为什么在国家队表现没有在尤文图斯好呢？因为他在国家队没有身后德约卡夫和齐达内的支援。"
12."托里彻利因伤不能上场，国际米兰防守实力大减。"（此时韩旁边的张慧德老师指，托里彻利正在场上。）
13."上半场尤文图斯对罗纳尔多和因扎吉的防守相当成功。"
14."不管罗纳尔多拿没拿球，国际米兰总有3到4名队员防守他。"
15."罗纳尔多和皮耶罗的配合比上半场好得多。"
16."已经有很多俱乐部表示要购买皮耶罗，拉齐奥出价3000万美圆，曼联（阿森纳）出价更高，2800万美圆。"
17."帕柳卡又一次化解了罗纳尔多极有威胁的射门。"
18.德甲，大嘴道："××队后卫严重犯规，裁判将前锋××罚下场。"
19.德甲，"现在场上火药味很脓，双方教练也争风吃醋。""两队队员在场上你争我抢，两队的教练也在场下争风吃醋。"
20.中国四员小将在欧洲……(范已经30了)
21.佛罗伦萨队中场犯规，不，在禁区前罚球弧顶犯规，..
22.AC米兰就像一台计算机，内存挺大，大到奔腾II代，可是运行不快，可能是感染电脑病毒，看来主教练扎切罗尼需要一张杀毒的硬盘！！！！！！
23.因为李金羽的身高比对方队员矮,因此在拚抢的时候他的肘部碰到了对方的脸上。
24."你看她们的短裤也很有意思，网球运动员的短裤是特制的，里面可以放好几个球不掉出来。奥，她们穿的是裙子。"
25.（亚运会武术比赛）中国运动员出场了，只见她一条枪舞得如蛟龙出水，虎虎生风。不禁让我们想起了我国三国时代的常山赵子龙，猛张飞，关羽关云长...关羽使的是刀...（眼睛离开手中的稿子瞥了一眼赛场）奥，对不起，她使的是棍...
26.守门员将球回传给门将
27.主教练将xx队的裁判罚出场外
28.AC米兰队目前以1:3领先
29.把球一脚射进了大门,...我们来看看慢动作,...哦,...是用头顶进的
30."只见防守队员一个队员两条腿，两个队员四条腿，三个队员...."
31.亚运会,韩大嘴说："....×××以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势............"
32.他说，队员在平时的训练中一定要加强体能和对抗性训练，这样才能适应比赛中的激烈程度，否则的话，就会像不倒翁一样一撞就倒。
33.国外的球员都非常敬业，比如马特乌斯，小孩出生3个月后就上场比赛了。在国家对与哥伦比亚的一场比赛中，他也制造了几个经典。
34.范志毅前几天还在发高烧，高烧36度8；守门员区楚良身高1米82，体重28公斤。
35.中国队一脚射门，被区楚良奋勇扑出。
36.韩大嘴解说德甲，说:"我统计了一下前八轮的进球和失球总数，惊奇的发现一个巧合，那就是它们刚好一样多。"
37.XX队员就像桃源三结义的赵云一样勇猛，不愧为长胜将军。
2005年10月15日星期六
Twenty Years of Windows
Windows is so ubiquitous that we often take it for granted. It's the operating system used on nearly 95 percent of all the desktops and notebooks sold worldwide, relegating other OSs to niche players. But that wasn't always the case. Indeed, when Windows first shipped, 20 years ago this month, it was considered nothing more than a slow operating environment that had arrived late to the party, well behind the industry leaders, Apple and Xerox PARC. Windows had a lot of growing up to do.
Though it is now the industry standard, Windows is still not everything we—or Microsoft—would like it to be. With its 20th anniversary approaching, I visited Microsoft's headquarters recently to talk with the team behind Windows—to get reflections on the key moments in its evolution, its position in the market today, and what lies in store for its future.
Early Years Microsoft today is a huge company, with thousands of employees in hundreds of buildings all around Redmond, Washington. That was hardly the case in 1983, when I first saw the product that was destined to evolve into Windows. Microsoft's headquarters were merely a small building next to the Burgermaster in Bellevue, another Seattle suburb. Then eight years old, the company had grown to about 400 people. It was primarily known as the maker of BASIC programs for many systems, and of MS-DOS, an operating system it had sold to IBM a few years earlier.
Many different companies during that period made computers that ran MS-DOS, but the problem was that these computers weren't all compatible with one another. IBM's version, called PC-DOS, was one standard, but companies like Digital Equipment Corp., Texas Instruments, and HP all made systems with different graphics devices.
Over the next few years, the industry would move to a world of "IBM compatibility," but many of these systems couldn't run applications designed specifically for the IBM PC.
"We Bet the Entire Company On It"
That was one of the key goals behind the project that was to become Windows. Back then, it was called "Interface Manager," and when I first saw it, I was working for a magazine called Popular Computing. Interface Manager was being developed by a small team that included Rao Remala, who was Interface Manager's first programmer and worked for Microsoft for more than 20 years in various areas of the business.
Microsoft chairman and chief software architect Bill Gates clearly remembers how much was riding on that project.
"We weren't kidding that we bet the entire company on it," Gates recalls. "The strange thing was we were a much smaller company at the time. We were competing to establish this platform with companies larger than ourselves."When Interface Manager was first announced, Microsoft described it as an option that would work on top of all the company's operating systems, including DOS and Xenix, Microsoft's version of Unix.
The idea was that it would provide a single interface to control the bitmapped screen, graphics hardware, and various other I/O devices. The basic foundations of the future Windows were all there—on-screen windows, easy data transfer between programs, graphic icons, and mouse support. One of the key features was a series of menu commands at the bottom of each window, giving a common way of entering commands for all the programs.Part of the reason this was included was that by the fall of 1983, "integrated software" was the big buzzword in the industry, spurred by the success of Lotus 1-2-3. At this point, a number of new "integrated operating environments" were being developed, including Apple's Lisa, which had shipped earlier that year, and a number of systems that were designed for x86 computers—notably VisiCorp's VisiOn, Quarterdeck's DESQ (which eventually morphed into DESQview), and Digital Research's Concurrent CP/M (notable for enabling multitasking).
Eyeing the Competition
Of course, graphics were a large part of the discussion as well. Apple was working on its Macintosh project at this point, and Digital Research was soon to announce its Graphical Environment Manager (GEM). But everyone was taking cues from work that had been done earlier at Xerox's Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) in California.
"Certainly the work done at Palo Alto Research Center, among others, influenced the bet we made to say the company would put all of its energy behind the graphical interface," Gates remembers.
Gates adds that Windows wasn't merely a graphical user interface. "It was actually two things," he says. "It was multiple applications running at a time, sharing the screen and exchanging data, and it was the graphical interface."
Charles Simonyi, who had worked at PARC and was a key architect of Microsoft's applications business in the early days, says that everyone at Microsoft was aware of Windows' potential. "We knew the graphical user interface would be the future," he says, adding that the company expected both Xerox and Apple to be in that arena.
Jeff Raikes, now president of Microsoft's business division, joined the company in 1981 and recalls studying the competition closely.
"Three or four offices down the hall from me, we had a Xerox Star so we could go and understand and play with the graphical user interface," says Raikes, who had worked at Apple and was very familiar with Lisa.
Unleashing Windows 1.0In November 1983, Microsoft announced Windows to the world, saying it would be available "late in the first quarter of 1984" and that it was designed for systems with two floppy drives, 192KB of RAM, and a mouse. This certainly wouldn't be the last time Microsoft would miss a Windows deadline or underestimate the amount of hardware needed. The actual boxed software for Windows 1.0 launched during the time of the Comdex trade show in Las Vegas in November 1985. By that point, Microsoft was recommending a minimum of 256KB of RAM, or 512KB of RAM and a hard drive for running multiple applications or when running it on top of DOS 3.0 or higher. PC Magazine's first review, in February 1986, pointed out that "Windows strains the limits of current hardware."
That first version had a large number of utilities and accessories, most of which remain in Windows today, including the Calendar, Notepad, Terminal, Calculator, Clock, Windows Write and Windows Paint, Control Panel, and the Reversi game. The menus had moved to the top of the screen, and the windows couldn't overlap; instead, they could be stacked as tiles, so one was next to another.
The first few versions of Windows were available as an "operating environment" that ran on top of DOS, or, more commonly, as a runtime environment that was included with applications. A few early programs would take advantage of this, notably the Micrografx CAD program called In-A-Vision. Still, most PC users were content to stick with DOS.
Windows 2.0: Overlapping Windows
Microsoft continued to improve Windows over the next few years. The most significant improvements during this period came in December 1987 with the release of Windows 2.0, when icons and overlapping windows were added, and with Windows/386, which took advantage of the abilities of Intel's 80386 processor to run multiple sessions of DOS. This established Windows as a competitor against products like DESQview, which was designed more simply to let you load multiple DOS applications in memory at once, switching among them.
What continued to hold Windows back in the late 1980s was the dearth of applications available for it. Along with In-A-Vision, the most important were Aldus PageMaker, a page layout program, and Microsoft's own Excel spreadsheet. Excel was one of three applications Microsoft had already decided to develop when Charles Simonyi arrived in 1981 and became director of application development. The other two were word processing and database products. But Microsoft focused first on Excel because it had the "best cost-benefit ratio," Simonyi says.
Both PageMaker and Excel had first appeared on the Apple Macintosh, but they were where Microsoft's application strategy really came together. Unlike Lotus, which was focusing on single integrated applications (Symphony on DOS and Jazz on the Macintosh), Microsoft concentrated on large individual applications like Excel and, later, PowerPoint and Word.
Giving Apps "Depth" and "Breadth"
Jeff Raikes says he convinced the company to work with the developers of AppleWorks (an older Apple II integrated suite) to create a low-end suite, which became Microsoft Works, to complement the individual large programs such as Excel.
"I had to explain to Bill how we were going to position Works with the rest of the product line. That's when we came up with 'depth users' and 'breadth users,' that whole positioning," Raikes recalls. "It worked."
Indeed, the depth- and breadth-user concept was the overarching theme of the era for the industry. Each application fell under either low-end or high-end functionality, and integrated or standalone programs. In the low-end standalone category were products like the PFS line; low-end integrated products included AppleWorks and Microsoft Works. There were many high-end integrated packages, such as Symphony, Framework, and Enable; high-end standalone products included Microsoft Word and Excel, along with DOS competitors such as 1-2-3 and WordPerfect.
Though Microsoft had been working on a word processing program for a few years, it was an obvious missing piece of Windows until 1989, when Windows 2.0 and Windows/386 were the versions on the market. That year, first Ami (then from Samna, later acquired by Lotus) and then Word for Windows shipped. As Raikes remembers it, while Excel, which shipped a few years earlier, was mostly ported from the Macintosh version, Word for Windows was a whole new architecture. Simonyi points out that the Mac OS had handled many of the functions Word would need, such as dealing with fonts properly, but they weren't tackled for Windows until Windows 3.0.
Ray Ozzie, now a Microsoft chief technology officer, was starting a company at that time called Iris Associates, which would eventually produce Notes. He recalls how difficult Windows programming was in the early days. Memory management was very tough in 16-bit Windows, but Ozzie decided to stick with it, instead of trying to build a graphics environment of his own. "Because I knew Bill and Steve [Ballmer], after playing with it I talked with them about it," Ozzie says. "I was convinced that they had the will to want to get it right."
Iris Associates eventually signed a development deal with Microsoft and created Notes with Windows in mind; it shipped in December 1989. But memory continued to be an issue. "Of the five years of development time that it took to develop Notes, about a third of it was spent on memory management," Ozzie recalls. "It was just staggering, and it wasn't the app, it was just fitting it in memory."
Windows 3.0
Big changes were to come with Windows 3.0, which arrived in May 1990 and addressed some of the stumbling blocks that plagued earlier versions. It introduced Program Manager and File Manager, which became two significant features of Windows for years to come. And perhaps more important, Windows 3.0 was the first version to allow programs to use memory beyond 640KB.
Indeed, Windows 3 would turn out to be the version of Windows that first truly clicked. But in the meantime, Microsoft's operating-system strategy had gotten much more complicated. Microsoft and IBM had jointly announced work on OS/2 in early 1987, when IBM announced its new PS/2 machines. As part of that deal, both companies were promoting OS/2 as the long-term future for operating systems. They shipped both a character-based version (1.0) and a later version with the graphical presentation manager (1.1).
IBM had announced OS/2 with both a standard edition and an "Extended Edition" that would include database functionality. Microsoft was a partner only on the standard one and was trying to sell it to many hardware companies. The Extended version was sold only by IBM and was designed specifically for IBM hardware.
A Marriage in Disrepair
The joint venture between IBM and Microsoft soured quickly, largely because of a disagreement over graphics. Microsoft wanted OS/2 to have the same graphics as Windows, but IBM wanted it to have a different design, known as GDDM. "We got forced," Gates recalls. "There was this awful episode in '86 when they said 'We want GDDM graphics, not Windows graphics.' And they were basically kicking us out of OS/2. So then Nathan Myhrvold and I said we'd redesign the graphics to be like GDDM, which made it very incompatible with Windows and very big and complicated, and oriented toward this so-called metafile approach that for interactive interfaces isn't what you want."
Gates remembers that he and Steve Ballmer, then Microsoft's vice president of system software and now its CEO, flew down to IBM's headquarters in Boca Raton, Florida, weekly to try to keep the team together. Meanwhile, OS/2 was being delayed, and Microsoft was complaining that IBM's software was larger and more complex than it should have been.The key argument was over whether Microsoft should ship a version of Windows that would directly address memory greater than 1MB. Gates says Windows programs did some smart things to let applications directly use that memory, instead of the more complicated "expanded memory" managers that were used by earlier DOS-based programs, which, for the most part, were limited to 640KB of memory.
Gates says IBM pressured Microsoft not to release it, because it would place Windows in direct competition with OS/2. But he adds that OS/2 was growing so big and was so far behind schedule that Microsoft decided to go ahead and release its next version of Windows, which was 3.0. (For IBM's take on the OS/2 conflict, see the Q&A with Jim Cannavino, who oversaw OS/2's development at IBM.)
Microsoft had positioned Windows 3.0 as a lower-end operating system than OS/2. But in fact, while Windows 3.0 theoretically would run on a 286 with 640KB of memory and a hard drive, users really needed a 386 computer with at least 1MB of "extended memory" to take advantage of it. And when they did, they got an operating system that provided much of the graphical underpinning that people wanted, along with decent multitasking capabilities.
Goodbye, Typewriters
With the release of Windows 3.0, both typical computer users and large companies began to adopt Windows as an operating system. "On the client side, it was the proliferation of fairly inexpensive hardware and very cool apps that let people do things more productively," recalls Jim Allchin, who joined Microsoft in 1990 and is now copresident of its Platform Products & Services Division. "Getting rid of typewriters, getting rid of calculators, those were big deals." (See our interview with Allchin.)
Personal computing was beginning to change the way people worked. "The PCs were much simpler and could be tailored faster for business operations by the IT staff than these big mainframes, where you have to wait in a big queue to tweak an application," Allchin recalls. "And I also believe Microsoft was continuing to improve the system such that it was more acceptable in the business space."
Perhaps more important, Windows 3.0 attracted large numbers of developers. "It really took the 386 for Windows to have the underlying hardware platform that could deliver a useful application and developer experience," says Brad Silverberg, who was then at software company Borland but would go on to head the Windows 95 team. "Before that it was just way too difficult and, as a result, people just wrote to DOS." With Windows 3.0 came "a total flood in 1990 of Windows applications," he recalls.
In the next few years, Windows went through minor changes that actually signaled the inclusion of many new features. In October 1991, Windows 3.0a added a number of multimedia features, making Windows a player in a world with sound and CD-ROM drives. Windows 3.1, which followed in April 1992, focused more on stability and ease of use, and added TrueType scalable fonts, which made everything look and read better. And Windows for Workgroups 3.1 came out in October 1992, adding file sharing, printer sharing, and Microsoft Mail, the company's first big mail client.
3.1 Brings Stability
Although it was just a point release, Windows 3.1 ended up as a milestone, because its improved stability made it something more businesses were willing to consider."The Windows 3.0 code was a little rough and ragged, and crashed way more," Silverberg recalls, "which is actually quite understandable, because nobody had ever shipped a product like that. So Windows 3.1 really was trying to take Windows 3.0 and make it a lot more solid, more stable, something that corporations could feel comfortable in deploying and using on a daily basis."
Many hardware manufacturers began preloading Windows 3.1 on their computers. "By having it take off so strongly within corporations, it became obvious for both IBM and Compaq, who were the principal PC manufacturers selling to enterprises, to preload Windows on their machines," Silverberg adds.
Suddenly, after years of skepticism about it, Windows had stepped into the spotlight. But true ubiquity was a little further down the road, Gates says.
"I'm not sure we achieved ultimate mainstream," he says, "until the shipment of Windows 95."
Windows 95
By the time Windows 95 came out in August 1995, the marriage between Microsoft and IBM had not only been severed completely but the two companies were engaged in an indisputable operating-system war.
The companies had parted ways in late 1990. IBM continued to push OS/2 with the Presentation Manager. Microsoft, along with pushing the various versions of Windows 3, was taking the work it had done on what would have been the next version of OS/2 and turning it into what would become Windows NT. That version, called Windows NT 3.1 (the number picked to echo Windows 3.1), was introduced in late 1993. It was the first version of Windows to be a full 32-bit operating system and introduced a lot of the basics of today's Windows.
Now Microsoft was talking up Chicago, the code name for the product that would become Windows 95, and IBM was countering with talk of OS/2 Warp.Though Windows NT 3.1 had had success with the server market, companies shied away from it in client situations because it required more resources than most PCs had. "We outpaced the hardware," Jim Allchin explains. In contrast, the world seemed ready for Windows 95, which required fewer resources and was more backward-compatible with Windows 3.1 and DOS applications.
A 32-bit operating system really designed for client computers, Windows 95 was the first of the regular Windows series to include the operating systems; Windows versions 1 through 3.11 were designed to run on top of DOS. Windows 95 required a 386 or later processor, 4MB of RAM, and at least 40MB of free hard drive space just to start, though as usual, most people wanted more in order to take full advantage of the system. And it introduced much of the user interface features we see in Windows systems today, such as drag-and-drop icons, the famous Start menu, and many of the underlying networking and Internet features.
So Many Apps, So Little Compatibility
Like many Windows releases over the years, Windows 95 shipped far later than it was supposed to. The push for applications compatibility caused most of the delay, according to David Cole, then a Windows program manager and now senior vice president of Microsoft's MSN and Personal Services Group. Up until Windows 3.0, Cole says, compatibility wasn't a big deal, because there were so few applications and users anyway. But with the release of Windows 3.1, that started to change.
It all came to a head during the holiday season of 1994. "We were thinking we were pretty close to being done with Windows 95. But then literally hundreds of these multimedia applications came out for the holiday season and didn't run, and we started testing them," Cole remembers. The multimedia features in Windows 3.0 and 3.1 weren't well documented, he said, so developers had to "hack their way in and use undocumented APIs." As a result, the improved system in Windows 95 ended up breaking a lot of applications.
"We got in my little Toyota pickup that I had at the time, we drove it to Egghead, and we literally bought one of every multimedia application in the store," Cole says. "Picture a small-size Toyota pickup and the back of it is heaped with boxes of applications, games, all kinds of crazy multimedia stuff. We brought them all back, literally backed the truck up to the building, and we handed them out to all the employees and said, 'We've got to get these things tested.'"
"Start Me Up"
Fixing the problem took another eight months, as public anticipation continued to brew. By the time Windows 95 was formally launched in August 1995, the hype that surrounded it was unprecedented—with the first big advertising campaign for Windows (featuring the Rolling Stones singing "Start Me Up"). People stood in line to get the software when it was first available, and over a million copies were sold in the first four days. (In contrast, when Windows 3.1 was shipped, Microsoft was ecstatic that it sold 3 million copies in two months.)Why all the commotion? "It was, in many ways, a perfect storm of all these major driving elements coming together all at once," Brad Silverberg says. "You could get PCs very inexpensively with very nice graphics displays and good-sized hard drives. People were starting to get Internet connections, and so there was the whole Internet element that was really coming together. You had software that was dramatically easier to use."
Yusuf Mehdi, who worked on Windows applications in the earlier years and now runs MSN, agrees that Windows 95 just happened at the right time. "Some of it, I think, we can't take credit for," he says. "We got to ride the phenomenon of the PC's becoming mainstream in the home."
Catering to this much larger and more general group of users required some significant design changes when developing Windows 95, says Joe Belfiore, who worked on the interface and is now general manager of the Windows eHome Division. Files and programs had to be easier to access than they were in previous versions, for example. The changes were time-consuming but necessary, he adds.
Windows 95 was also notable for a big change in applications. While most of the earlier Windows applications ran in it, it was really designed for 32-bit applications. The most successful of these would be a new version of Microsoft Office. Jeff Raikes traces Office's evolution to the emergence of chief information officers at many companies in the late 1980s and early 1990s. They wanted consistent software, so Microsoft worked on developing a consistent suite.
The applications team, headed by Mike Maples, who had joined Microsoft from IBM, had to rethink the development process, focusing on the suite as a whole and not on the individual applications. As a result, the Office applications started using a lot of shared code, such as dynamic link libraries that represented a lot of the user interface. "That is still the structure we have today," Raikes says.
Other developers followed suit, and soon most applications were being developed for that system, including one that would ignite both excitement and controversy.
The "killer app"
"One of the things that really propelled Windows 95, obviously," recalls Silverberg, "was the consumerization of the Internet, and I would have to say that the killer app for Windows 95 was [Netscape] Navigator."
Netscape had launched Navigator in 1994, and the browser quickly helped turn the Internet from something of academic interest to a mass-market phenomenon.Because Windows 95 was the first version to build in 32-bit networking support and the TCP/IP stack with DHCP and WINS, it made it easier for applications to connect. "One of the key objectives with Windows 95 was to be completely plug-and-play, and not just for hardware but also for software," Silverberg says. "I think we really succeeded with that with the Internet and made it possible for anybody to pick up a computer and be instantly productive."
For the next few years, much of the Windows team was focused on Internet Explorer, which first shipped in Windows 95 in a very weak version. Microsoft's decision to bundle Internet Explorer with Windows, of course, would later become the heart of the U.S. government's highly publicized antitrust case against the company in the late 1990s.
Inside Microsoft, there were debates about the role of the browser. The concept of the browser wasn't new from a technical perspective, but no one was sure how much it should be part of the operating system. One thing they all agreed on, though—they needed to answer Netscape Navigator, and fast.
"We were facing this notion that, hey, there's a new thing going on now with the Internet, where the time to market is much faster, so how do we ship new functionality to customers, and how do we stay competitive on the Internet, when shipping every three to four years is not going to be enough for some customers?" Mehdi recalls.
Several versions of Internet Explorer followed, but it wasn't until IE 3.0 that the Microsoft team felt they really had something to compete against Navigator, Mehdi says. "I think we had superior scripting, superior browser control, superior HTML standards, and I think that's where we took the lead," he observes. "Then we didn't have to pay attention to them as much, because we were pioneering the way."
With IE 4 came the Trident display engine that enabled dynamic HTML. At that point, the race was on between Microsoft and Netscape to add as many features as possible in every new release. Both were investing in "push" content, in which users would subscribe to information that would be pushed to the desktop. Microsoft called this "channels," and it ultimately failed because it was too slow over dial-up connections. It was pulled from IE 5.Eventually, work on the browser slowed down. "I think we ended up having, believe it or not, feature fatigue, where people said, it's almost too much in this thing; can we just go back to some basics?" Mehdi says. "And that's why I think IE 5 was actually a way bigger hit than IE 4, because it just focused on simplicity and performance."
Over the next several years, Internet Explorer would begin to take market share away from Navigator, leading to Netscape's eventual acquisition by AOL and the antitrust case against Microsoft. The court declared Microsoft a monopoly and ordered it to open Windows to different browsers and software from other manufacturers.
Windows 98, ME
Windows 98, which shipped in 1998, included the version of IE that many people would use for years. The listed hardware requirements had grown to include a 486 or faster, 16MB of RAM, and at least 120MB of free hard-drive space. It was followed the next year by Windows 98, Second Edition, and then by Windows Me (Millennium Edition), both relatively minor upgrades.
By that time, though, most of the Windows team was focused on NT. In August 1996, Microsoft shipped Windows NT 4.0, code-named Cairo. The Cairo project was supposed to include an object-oriented file system, but it didn't make the release—and its current iteration, as WinFS, has not shipped to this day; it will not be included in the Vista release, either.Originally, NT was designed to allow for different APIs on top of it—the OS/2 Presentation Manager, Posix (a version of Unix), and of course Windows, which, with the success of Windows 95 and the Win32 API, became the focus of NT 4.0.
Microsoft had tried to get corporate users to move to Windows NT, but that just didn't happen with the earlier versions, Allchin says. "Frankly, where we really made traction, just to be clear on the client, was NT 4, because it's still out there," he says.
XP & Vista
In many respects, the current generation of Windows started with a project called NT 5, which first began to show up in 1997 and eventually shipped as Windows 2000 in February 2000.
Windows 2000 took the NT basics and added a number of reliability improvements, more support for notebook computers, support for Plug and Play, and more. This became the core system for both the desktop and the server products.
In October 2001, Microsoft added the user interface and software compatibility from Windows 98 on top of the basic core of Windows 2000 to create Windows XP, which remains the company's main operating system. Win XP came out in two flavors: XP Home, which was positioned as the follow-up to the Windows 98/Me series, and XP Professional, the follow-up to Windows 2000. Both used the same basic code, but the Pro version had a few more features, mainly aimed at network management and administration.
The challenge with Win XP was to give users new ways to use their systems, while retaining the features they had learned to appreciate from previous versions, says Chris Jones, corporate vice president of Windows Core Operating Systems Development.
"A lot of the value proposition of XP was, it's basically the same, with a new look, a new set of experiences around photos and music, and some new scenarios," Jones says. "But it had the new engine in it, and so it was just way, way more reliable."
The basic details of the user interface may not have changed that much, but UI guru Joe Belfiore points out the different ways it allows people to use Web sites, cameras, and multimedia today. "If you gave somebody a PC running Win 95 today who is used to running XP and doing the stuff you do with XP," he says, "they would think it was something from the Dark Ages."
Variations of Windows XP
Since Win XP's release, Microsoft has taken the XP code and created a few additional variations. In the fall of 2002 it introduced Windows XP Media Center Edition, which added a "10-foot interface" for viewing—from a living-room couch as well as the usual office chair—all kinds of multimedia files. Media Center Edition also included the ability to record television. Times were changing when it came to multimedia, Belfiore says; Microsoft needed to recognize the digitization of content and the ways people wanted to take advantage of it. "The idea was that you could store your content in one room but eventually be able to get to it from other places," he says.
Media Center started slowly but in recent months has started to take a larger share of the retail desktop market in the U.S.
Another Win XP variation, one with a much smaller audience, at least so far, is the Tablet PC Edition. "These types of really significant changes in how people consume technology take time," Belfiore says.
Microsoft also released a 64-bit version of the OS, initially targeting workstations and servers.
Most interesting were a variety of changes that were delivered as part of Windows Update, a new process that was introduced with Win XP. The Windows Media Player evolved to include new codecs and a new user interface. And perhaps most important, Microsoft introduced a service pack last year, called SP2, that addressed many of the security issues that had been plaguing users for the past few years. It included a built-in firewall and many fixes to known security holes. The Internet and all the threats that come with it these days led Microsoft to change its security strategy, Allchin says.
"If all you could do is bring around a floppy or some other USB medium and plug it in, if that's the only time something bad could happen, you still might want to have security in the classical sense of access per control system, which is what NT had," he says. The curveball of the Internet took everyone by surprise, he adds.
What Vista Will Bring
Now, as Microsoft develops Windows Vista, which is scheduled to ship in the second half of 2006, security is a top priority. The company talks about the big push to make Vista more "confident," "clear," and "connected."
Helping people visualize and organize their information better is another goal, which is why the user interface is changing yet again. Certain functions, such as commands, may change too, Chris Jones says, which would force users to learn to type differently. Microsoft's challenge is to change just enough to make the interface more intuitive, without changing so much that users begin to feel lost, he says.
Another highlight of Vista will be its new integrated search. Learning to adapt to the new search function won't be too much of a stretch, Jones believes, because of the full-text search tools people use in Microsoft Outlook, for example, or Google. In Vista, search is built into the OS, and every file is automatically indexed. Applications will be able to open files through a search menu, changing the way you think about where and how you store your files.
Bill Gates says Vista users will also notice the most significant change to the menu structure of applications since Microsoft introduced its early Mac and Windows applications in the 1980s.
"It is interesting that now, 20 years later, is the first time we're really taking that single-level menu structure approach and saying that for the productivity applications, that has run its course," Gates says. "The Office 12 user interface—it's super-interesting what they've done; it's amazing, but there will be people who resist the change. But that menu approach ran out of steam probably four or five years ago."
Behind the surface, Vista will have many new features, including a new graphics engine with new commands for programmers, a new programming model, new drivers, and security features that will make it easier for users to run without having administrator privileges on all the time.
A number of things Microsoft has talked about over the years won't be in Vista, though, including the Next Generation Secure Computing Base, a plan for running secure tasks separately from normal tasks; and WinFS, an object-oriented file system Allchin has been pushing for years. Though WinFS is currently being beta tested, it isn't expected to be included in the initial release of Vista.
New Strategies
As for future operating systems, Microsoft hopes to speed up the time between releases. During the 5-year-period between Microsoft's releases of XP and Vista, Apple has released several end-user upgrades and charged for them, Jones says. The question for Microsoft, he says, is "Where do we charge and where don't we for all these things?"Security updates, for example, should be included as part of the OS licenses people pay for, Jones says, and there are other things added to Windows for free because it's good for developers to have those features deployed. But Microsoft still needs to work out which extras to charge for, he says.
Microsoft is also always exploring ways to make new versions of the operating system interesting and significant enough for people to want to upgrade to them.
"First, we'd better offer a set of compelling capabilities in the software," Allchin says. "Second, we'd better work on the migration and deployment problems that people have today. If I look in the future, we have to do an even better job."
Keys to Windows' Past Successes
Looking back, Gates says the two most important things that led to Windows' success were creating a standard for application developers to write to and creating a standard, intuitive interface for users.
"We've got the developer model that connects to the past but also provides these new services for new classes of applications," Gates says. "We write applications ourselves and exploit that with Office, but it's really the breadth [of applications] that has made Windows such a strong standard. And that you can walk up to any machine and know how to use it, that's the user-model piece."
Both now have to evolve, he adds. "We need a model that is not as single device–centric as Windows originally was but that brings all these richer services, both local and remote, into that developer picture and into that user model," Gates says.
He notes that, in general, the basic UI hasn't changed all that much. "I could take you back to the Windows 2.0 UI and you'd find there wasn't the bar at the bottom and some things, but Windows users today would find it pretty familiar."Now, Gates says, it's time to "take the user interface to a new level." Such changes, he says, are always risky, just as moving from DOS to Windows was. But the goal remains to create a common developer model and a common user model."Those same benefits are as relevant today as they were when this got started."
Though it is now the industry standard, Windows is still not everything we—or Microsoft—would like it to be. With its 20th anniversary approaching, I visited Microsoft's headquarters recently to talk with the team behind Windows—to get reflections on the key moments in its evolution, its position in the market today, and what lies in store for its future.
Early Years Microsoft today is a huge company, with thousands of employees in hundreds of buildings all around Redmond, Washington. That was hardly the case in 1983, when I first saw the product that was destined to evolve into Windows. Microsoft's headquarters were merely a small building next to the Burgermaster in Bellevue, another Seattle suburb. Then eight years old, the company had grown to about 400 people. It was primarily known as the maker of BASIC programs for many systems, and of MS-DOS, an operating system it had sold to IBM a few years earlier.
Many different companies during that period made computers that ran MS-DOS, but the problem was that these computers weren't all compatible with one another. IBM's version, called PC-DOS, was one standard, but companies like Digital Equipment Corp., Texas Instruments, and HP all made systems with different graphics devices.
Over the next few years, the industry would move to a world of "IBM compatibility," but many of these systems couldn't run applications designed specifically for the IBM PC.
"We Bet the Entire Company On It"
That was one of the key goals behind the project that was to become Windows. Back then, it was called "Interface Manager," and when I first saw it, I was working for a magazine called Popular Computing. Interface Manager was being developed by a small team that included Rao Remala, who was Interface Manager's first programmer and worked for Microsoft for more than 20 years in various areas of the business.
Microsoft chairman and chief software architect Bill Gates clearly remembers how much was riding on that project.
"We weren't kidding that we bet the entire company on it," Gates recalls. "The strange thing was we were a much smaller company at the time. We were competing to establish this platform with companies larger than ourselves."When Interface Manager was first announced, Microsoft described it as an option that would work on top of all the company's operating systems, including DOS and Xenix, Microsoft's version of Unix.
The idea was that it would provide a single interface to control the bitmapped screen, graphics hardware, and various other I/O devices. The basic foundations of the future Windows were all there—on-screen windows, easy data transfer between programs, graphic icons, and mouse support. One of the key features was a series of menu commands at the bottom of each window, giving a common way of entering commands for all the programs.Part of the reason this was included was that by the fall of 1983, "integrated software" was the big buzzword in the industry, spurred by the success of Lotus 1-2-3. At this point, a number of new "integrated operating environments" were being developed, including Apple's Lisa, which had shipped earlier that year, and a number of systems that were designed for x86 computers—notably VisiCorp's VisiOn, Quarterdeck's DESQ (which eventually morphed into DESQview), and Digital Research's Concurrent CP/M (notable for enabling multitasking).
Eyeing the Competition
Of course, graphics were a large part of the discussion as well. Apple was working on its Macintosh project at this point, and Digital Research was soon to announce its Graphical Environment Manager (GEM). But everyone was taking cues from work that had been done earlier at Xerox's Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) in California.
"Certainly the work done at Palo Alto Research Center, among others, influenced the bet we made to say the company would put all of its energy behind the graphical interface," Gates remembers.
Gates adds that Windows wasn't merely a graphical user interface. "It was actually two things," he says. "It was multiple applications running at a time, sharing the screen and exchanging data, and it was the graphical interface."
Charles Simonyi, who had worked at PARC and was a key architect of Microsoft's applications business in the early days, says that everyone at Microsoft was aware of Windows' potential. "We knew the graphical user interface would be the future," he says, adding that the company expected both Xerox and Apple to be in that arena.
Jeff Raikes, now president of Microsoft's business division, joined the company in 1981 and recalls studying the competition closely.
"Three or four offices down the hall from me, we had a Xerox Star so we could go and understand and play with the graphical user interface," says Raikes, who had worked at Apple and was very familiar with Lisa.
Unleashing Windows 1.0In November 1983, Microsoft announced Windows to the world, saying it would be available "late in the first quarter of 1984" and that it was designed for systems with two floppy drives, 192KB of RAM, and a mouse. This certainly wouldn't be the last time Microsoft would miss a Windows deadline or underestimate the amount of hardware needed. The actual boxed software for Windows 1.0 launched during the time of the Comdex trade show in Las Vegas in November 1985. By that point, Microsoft was recommending a minimum of 256KB of RAM, or 512KB of RAM and a hard drive for running multiple applications or when running it on top of DOS 3.0 or higher. PC Magazine's first review, in February 1986, pointed out that "Windows strains the limits of current hardware."
That first version had a large number of utilities and accessories, most of which remain in Windows today, including the Calendar, Notepad, Terminal, Calculator, Clock, Windows Write and Windows Paint, Control Panel, and the Reversi game. The menus had moved to the top of the screen, and the windows couldn't overlap; instead, they could be stacked as tiles, so one was next to another.
The first few versions of Windows were available as an "operating environment" that ran on top of DOS, or, more commonly, as a runtime environment that was included with applications. A few early programs would take advantage of this, notably the Micrografx CAD program called In-A-Vision. Still, most PC users were content to stick with DOS.
Windows 2.0: Overlapping Windows
Microsoft continued to improve Windows over the next few years. The most significant improvements during this period came in December 1987 with the release of Windows 2.0, when icons and overlapping windows were added, and with Windows/386, which took advantage of the abilities of Intel's 80386 processor to run multiple sessions of DOS. This established Windows as a competitor against products like DESQview, which was designed more simply to let you load multiple DOS applications in memory at once, switching among them.
What continued to hold Windows back in the late 1980s was the dearth of applications available for it. Along with In-A-Vision, the most important were Aldus PageMaker, a page layout program, and Microsoft's own Excel spreadsheet. Excel was one of three applications Microsoft had already decided to develop when Charles Simonyi arrived in 1981 and became director of application development. The other two were word processing and database products. But Microsoft focused first on Excel because it had the "best cost-benefit ratio," Simonyi says.
Both PageMaker and Excel had first appeared on the Apple Macintosh, but they were where Microsoft's application strategy really came together. Unlike Lotus, which was focusing on single integrated applications (Symphony on DOS and Jazz on the Macintosh), Microsoft concentrated on large individual applications like Excel and, later, PowerPoint and Word.
Giving Apps "Depth" and "Breadth"
Jeff Raikes says he convinced the company to work with the developers of AppleWorks (an older Apple II integrated suite) to create a low-end suite, which became Microsoft Works, to complement the individual large programs such as Excel.
"I had to explain to Bill how we were going to position Works with the rest of the product line. That's when we came up with 'depth users' and 'breadth users,' that whole positioning," Raikes recalls. "It worked."
Indeed, the depth- and breadth-user concept was the overarching theme of the era for the industry. Each application fell under either low-end or high-end functionality, and integrated or standalone programs. In the low-end standalone category were products like the PFS line; low-end integrated products included AppleWorks and Microsoft Works. There were many high-end integrated packages, such as Symphony, Framework, and Enable; high-end standalone products included Microsoft Word and Excel, along with DOS competitors such as 1-2-3 and WordPerfect.
Though Microsoft had been working on a word processing program for a few years, it was an obvious missing piece of Windows until 1989, when Windows 2.0 and Windows/386 were the versions on the market. That year, first Ami (then from Samna, later acquired by Lotus) and then Word for Windows shipped. As Raikes remembers it, while Excel, which shipped a few years earlier, was mostly ported from the Macintosh version, Word for Windows was a whole new architecture. Simonyi points out that the Mac OS had handled many of the functions Word would need, such as dealing with fonts properly, but they weren't tackled for Windows until Windows 3.0.
Ray Ozzie, now a Microsoft chief technology officer, was starting a company at that time called Iris Associates, which would eventually produce Notes. He recalls how difficult Windows programming was in the early days. Memory management was very tough in 16-bit Windows, but Ozzie decided to stick with it, instead of trying to build a graphics environment of his own. "Because I knew Bill and Steve [Ballmer], after playing with it I talked with them about it," Ozzie says. "I was convinced that they had the will to want to get it right."
Iris Associates eventually signed a development deal with Microsoft and created Notes with Windows in mind; it shipped in December 1989. But memory continued to be an issue. "Of the five years of development time that it took to develop Notes, about a third of it was spent on memory management," Ozzie recalls. "It was just staggering, and it wasn't the app, it was just fitting it in memory."
Windows 3.0
Big changes were to come with Windows 3.0, which arrived in May 1990 and addressed some of the stumbling blocks that plagued earlier versions. It introduced Program Manager and File Manager, which became two significant features of Windows for years to come. And perhaps more important, Windows 3.0 was the first version to allow programs to use memory beyond 640KB.
Indeed, Windows 3 would turn out to be the version of Windows that first truly clicked. But in the meantime, Microsoft's operating-system strategy had gotten much more complicated. Microsoft and IBM had jointly announced work on OS/2 in early 1987, when IBM announced its new PS/2 machines. As part of that deal, both companies were promoting OS/2 as the long-term future for operating systems. They shipped both a character-based version (1.0) and a later version with the graphical presentation manager (1.1).
IBM had announced OS/2 with both a standard edition and an "Extended Edition" that would include database functionality. Microsoft was a partner only on the standard one and was trying to sell it to many hardware companies. The Extended version was sold only by IBM and was designed specifically for IBM hardware.
A Marriage in Disrepair
The joint venture between IBM and Microsoft soured quickly, largely because of a disagreement over graphics. Microsoft wanted OS/2 to have the same graphics as Windows, but IBM wanted it to have a different design, known as GDDM. "We got forced," Gates recalls. "There was this awful episode in '86 when they said 'We want GDDM graphics, not Windows graphics.' And they were basically kicking us out of OS/2. So then Nathan Myhrvold and I said we'd redesign the graphics to be like GDDM, which made it very incompatible with Windows and very big and complicated, and oriented toward this so-called metafile approach that for interactive interfaces isn't what you want."
Gates remembers that he and Steve Ballmer, then Microsoft's vice president of system software and now its CEO, flew down to IBM's headquarters in Boca Raton, Florida, weekly to try to keep the team together. Meanwhile, OS/2 was being delayed, and Microsoft was complaining that IBM's software was larger and more complex than it should have been.The key argument was over whether Microsoft should ship a version of Windows that would directly address memory greater than 1MB. Gates says Windows programs did some smart things to let applications directly use that memory, instead of the more complicated "expanded memory" managers that were used by earlier DOS-based programs, which, for the most part, were limited to 640KB of memory.
Gates says IBM pressured Microsoft not to release it, because it would place Windows in direct competition with OS/2. But he adds that OS/2 was growing so big and was so far behind schedule that Microsoft decided to go ahead and release its next version of Windows, which was 3.0. (For IBM's take on the OS/2 conflict, see the Q&A with Jim Cannavino, who oversaw OS/2's development at IBM.)
Microsoft had positioned Windows 3.0 as a lower-end operating system than OS/2. But in fact, while Windows 3.0 theoretically would run on a 286 with 640KB of memory and a hard drive, users really needed a 386 computer with at least 1MB of "extended memory" to take advantage of it. And when they did, they got an operating system that provided much of the graphical underpinning that people wanted, along with decent multitasking capabilities.
Goodbye, Typewriters
With the release of Windows 3.0, both typical computer users and large companies began to adopt Windows as an operating system. "On the client side, it was the proliferation of fairly inexpensive hardware and very cool apps that let people do things more productively," recalls Jim Allchin, who joined Microsoft in 1990 and is now copresident of its Platform Products & Services Division. "Getting rid of typewriters, getting rid of calculators, those were big deals." (See our interview with Allchin.)
Personal computing was beginning to change the way people worked. "The PCs were much simpler and could be tailored faster for business operations by the IT staff than these big mainframes, where you have to wait in a big queue to tweak an application," Allchin recalls. "And I also believe Microsoft was continuing to improve the system such that it was more acceptable in the business space."
Perhaps more important, Windows 3.0 attracted large numbers of developers. "It really took the 386 for Windows to have the underlying hardware platform that could deliver a useful application and developer experience," says Brad Silverberg, who was then at software company Borland but would go on to head the Windows 95 team. "Before that it was just way too difficult and, as a result, people just wrote to DOS." With Windows 3.0 came "a total flood in 1990 of Windows applications," he recalls.
In the next few years, Windows went through minor changes that actually signaled the inclusion of many new features. In October 1991, Windows 3.0a added a number of multimedia features, making Windows a player in a world with sound and CD-ROM drives. Windows 3.1, which followed in April 1992, focused more on stability and ease of use, and added TrueType scalable fonts, which made everything look and read better. And Windows for Workgroups 3.1 came out in October 1992, adding file sharing, printer sharing, and Microsoft Mail, the company's first big mail client.
3.1 Brings Stability
Although it was just a point release, Windows 3.1 ended up as a milestone, because its improved stability made it something more businesses were willing to consider."The Windows 3.0 code was a little rough and ragged, and crashed way more," Silverberg recalls, "which is actually quite understandable, because nobody had ever shipped a product like that. So Windows 3.1 really was trying to take Windows 3.0 and make it a lot more solid, more stable, something that corporations could feel comfortable in deploying and using on a daily basis."
Many hardware manufacturers began preloading Windows 3.1 on their computers. "By having it take off so strongly within corporations, it became obvious for both IBM and Compaq, who were the principal PC manufacturers selling to enterprises, to preload Windows on their machines," Silverberg adds.
Suddenly, after years of skepticism about it, Windows had stepped into the spotlight. But true ubiquity was a little further down the road, Gates says.
"I'm not sure we achieved ultimate mainstream," he says, "until the shipment of Windows 95."
Windows 95
By the time Windows 95 came out in August 1995, the marriage between Microsoft and IBM had not only been severed completely but the two companies were engaged in an indisputable operating-system war.
The companies had parted ways in late 1990. IBM continued to push OS/2 with the Presentation Manager. Microsoft, along with pushing the various versions of Windows 3, was taking the work it had done on what would have been the next version of OS/2 and turning it into what would become Windows NT. That version, called Windows NT 3.1 (the number picked to echo Windows 3.1), was introduced in late 1993. It was the first version of Windows to be a full 32-bit operating system and introduced a lot of the basics of today's Windows.
Now Microsoft was talking up Chicago, the code name for the product that would become Windows 95, and IBM was countering with talk of OS/2 Warp.Though Windows NT 3.1 had had success with the server market, companies shied away from it in client situations because it required more resources than most PCs had. "We outpaced the hardware," Jim Allchin explains. In contrast, the world seemed ready for Windows 95, which required fewer resources and was more backward-compatible with Windows 3.1 and DOS applications.
A 32-bit operating system really designed for client computers, Windows 95 was the first of the regular Windows series to include the operating systems; Windows versions 1 through 3.11 were designed to run on top of DOS. Windows 95 required a 386 or later processor, 4MB of RAM, and at least 40MB of free hard drive space just to start, though as usual, most people wanted more in order to take full advantage of the system. And it introduced much of the user interface features we see in Windows systems today, such as drag-and-drop icons, the famous Start menu, and many of the underlying networking and Internet features.
So Many Apps, So Little Compatibility
Like many Windows releases over the years, Windows 95 shipped far later than it was supposed to. The push for applications compatibility caused most of the delay, according to David Cole, then a Windows program manager and now senior vice president of Microsoft's MSN and Personal Services Group. Up until Windows 3.0, Cole says, compatibility wasn't a big deal, because there were so few applications and users anyway. But with the release of Windows 3.1, that started to change.
It all came to a head during the holiday season of 1994. "We were thinking we were pretty close to being done with Windows 95. But then literally hundreds of these multimedia applications came out for the holiday season and didn't run, and we started testing them," Cole remembers. The multimedia features in Windows 3.0 and 3.1 weren't well documented, he said, so developers had to "hack their way in and use undocumented APIs." As a result, the improved system in Windows 95 ended up breaking a lot of applications.
"We got in my little Toyota pickup that I had at the time, we drove it to Egghead, and we literally bought one of every multimedia application in the store," Cole says. "Picture a small-size Toyota pickup and the back of it is heaped with boxes of applications, games, all kinds of crazy multimedia stuff. We brought them all back, literally backed the truck up to the building, and we handed them out to all the employees and said, 'We've got to get these things tested.'"
"Start Me Up"
Fixing the problem took another eight months, as public anticipation continued to brew. By the time Windows 95 was formally launched in August 1995, the hype that surrounded it was unprecedented—with the first big advertising campaign for Windows (featuring the Rolling Stones singing "Start Me Up"). People stood in line to get the software when it was first available, and over a million copies were sold in the first four days. (In contrast, when Windows 3.1 was shipped, Microsoft was ecstatic that it sold 3 million copies in two months.)Why all the commotion? "It was, in many ways, a perfect storm of all these major driving elements coming together all at once," Brad Silverberg says. "You could get PCs very inexpensively with very nice graphics displays and good-sized hard drives. People were starting to get Internet connections, and so there was the whole Internet element that was really coming together. You had software that was dramatically easier to use."
Yusuf Mehdi, who worked on Windows applications in the earlier years and now runs MSN, agrees that Windows 95 just happened at the right time. "Some of it, I think, we can't take credit for," he says. "We got to ride the phenomenon of the PC's becoming mainstream in the home."
Catering to this much larger and more general group of users required some significant design changes when developing Windows 95, says Joe Belfiore, who worked on the interface and is now general manager of the Windows eHome Division. Files and programs had to be easier to access than they were in previous versions, for example. The changes were time-consuming but necessary, he adds.
Windows 95 was also notable for a big change in applications. While most of the earlier Windows applications ran in it, it was really designed for 32-bit applications. The most successful of these would be a new version of Microsoft Office. Jeff Raikes traces Office's evolution to the emergence of chief information officers at many companies in the late 1980s and early 1990s. They wanted consistent software, so Microsoft worked on developing a consistent suite.
The applications team, headed by Mike Maples, who had joined Microsoft from IBM, had to rethink the development process, focusing on the suite as a whole and not on the individual applications. As a result, the Office applications started using a lot of shared code, such as dynamic link libraries that represented a lot of the user interface. "That is still the structure we have today," Raikes says.
Other developers followed suit, and soon most applications were being developed for that system, including one that would ignite both excitement and controversy.
The "killer app"
"One of the things that really propelled Windows 95, obviously," recalls Silverberg, "was the consumerization of the Internet, and I would have to say that the killer app for Windows 95 was [Netscape] Navigator."
Netscape had launched Navigator in 1994, and the browser quickly helped turn the Internet from something of academic interest to a mass-market phenomenon.Because Windows 95 was the first version to build in 32-bit networking support and the TCP/IP stack with DHCP and WINS, it made it easier for applications to connect. "One of the key objectives with Windows 95 was to be completely plug-and-play, and not just for hardware but also for software," Silverberg says. "I think we really succeeded with that with the Internet and made it possible for anybody to pick up a computer and be instantly productive."
For the next few years, much of the Windows team was focused on Internet Explorer, which first shipped in Windows 95 in a very weak version. Microsoft's decision to bundle Internet Explorer with Windows, of course, would later become the heart of the U.S. government's highly publicized antitrust case against the company in the late 1990s.
Inside Microsoft, there were debates about the role of the browser. The concept of the browser wasn't new from a technical perspective, but no one was sure how much it should be part of the operating system. One thing they all agreed on, though—they needed to answer Netscape Navigator, and fast.
"We were facing this notion that, hey, there's a new thing going on now with the Internet, where the time to market is much faster, so how do we ship new functionality to customers, and how do we stay competitive on the Internet, when shipping every three to four years is not going to be enough for some customers?" Mehdi recalls.
Several versions of Internet Explorer followed, but it wasn't until IE 3.0 that the Microsoft team felt they really had something to compete against Navigator, Mehdi says. "I think we had superior scripting, superior browser control, superior HTML standards, and I think that's where we took the lead," he observes. "Then we didn't have to pay attention to them as much, because we were pioneering the way."
With IE 4 came the Trident display engine that enabled dynamic HTML. At that point, the race was on between Microsoft and Netscape to add as many features as possible in every new release. Both were investing in "push" content, in which users would subscribe to information that would be pushed to the desktop. Microsoft called this "channels," and it ultimately failed because it was too slow over dial-up connections. It was pulled from IE 5.Eventually, work on the browser slowed down. "I think we ended up having, believe it or not, feature fatigue, where people said, it's almost too much in this thing; can we just go back to some basics?" Mehdi says. "And that's why I think IE 5 was actually a way bigger hit than IE 4, because it just focused on simplicity and performance."
Over the next several years, Internet Explorer would begin to take market share away from Navigator, leading to Netscape's eventual acquisition by AOL and the antitrust case against Microsoft. The court declared Microsoft a monopoly and ordered it to open Windows to different browsers and software from other manufacturers.
Windows 98, ME
Windows 98, which shipped in 1998, included the version of IE that many people would use for years. The listed hardware requirements had grown to include a 486 or faster, 16MB of RAM, and at least 120MB of free hard-drive space. It was followed the next year by Windows 98, Second Edition, and then by Windows Me (Millennium Edition), both relatively minor upgrades.
By that time, though, most of the Windows team was focused on NT. In August 1996, Microsoft shipped Windows NT 4.0, code-named Cairo. The Cairo project was supposed to include an object-oriented file system, but it didn't make the release—and its current iteration, as WinFS, has not shipped to this day; it will not be included in the Vista release, either.Originally, NT was designed to allow for different APIs on top of it—the OS/2 Presentation Manager, Posix (a version of Unix), and of course Windows, which, with the success of Windows 95 and the Win32 API, became the focus of NT 4.0.
Microsoft had tried to get corporate users to move to Windows NT, but that just didn't happen with the earlier versions, Allchin says. "Frankly, where we really made traction, just to be clear on the client, was NT 4, because it's still out there," he says.
XP & Vista
In many respects, the current generation of Windows started with a project called NT 5, which first began to show up in 1997 and eventually shipped as Windows 2000 in February 2000.
Windows 2000 took the NT basics and added a number of reliability improvements, more support for notebook computers, support for Plug and Play, and more. This became the core system for both the desktop and the server products.
In October 2001, Microsoft added the user interface and software compatibility from Windows 98 on top of the basic core of Windows 2000 to create Windows XP, which remains the company's main operating system. Win XP came out in two flavors: XP Home, which was positioned as the follow-up to the Windows 98/Me series, and XP Professional, the follow-up to Windows 2000. Both used the same basic code, but the Pro version had a few more features, mainly aimed at network management and administration.
The challenge with Win XP was to give users new ways to use their systems, while retaining the features they had learned to appreciate from previous versions, says Chris Jones, corporate vice president of Windows Core Operating Systems Development.
"A lot of the value proposition of XP was, it's basically the same, with a new look, a new set of experiences around photos and music, and some new scenarios," Jones says. "But it had the new engine in it, and so it was just way, way more reliable."
The basic details of the user interface may not have changed that much, but UI guru Joe Belfiore points out the different ways it allows people to use Web sites, cameras, and multimedia today. "If you gave somebody a PC running Win 95 today who is used to running XP and doing the stuff you do with XP," he says, "they would think it was something from the Dark Ages."
Variations of Windows XP
Since Win XP's release, Microsoft has taken the XP code and created a few additional variations. In the fall of 2002 it introduced Windows XP Media Center Edition, which added a "10-foot interface" for viewing—from a living-room couch as well as the usual office chair—all kinds of multimedia files. Media Center Edition also included the ability to record television. Times were changing when it came to multimedia, Belfiore says; Microsoft needed to recognize the digitization of content and the ways people wanted to take advantage of it. "The idea was that you could store your content in one room but eventually be able to get to it from other places," he says.
Media Center started slowly but in recent months has started to take a larger share of the retail desktop market in the U.S.
Another Win XP variation, one with a much smaller audience, at least so far, is the Tablet PC Edition. "These types of really significant changes in how people consume technology take time," Belfiore says.
Microsoft also released a 64-bit version of the OS, initially targeting workstations and servers.
Most interesting were a variety of changes that were delivered as part of Windows Update, a new process that was introduced with Win XP. The Windows Media Player evolved to include new codecs and a new user interface. And perhaps most important, Microsoft introduced a service pack last year, called SP2, that addressed many of the security issues that had been plaguing users for the past few years. It included a built-in firewall and many fixes to known security holes. The Internet and all the threats that come with it these days led Microsoft to change its security strategy, Allchin says.
"If all you could do is bring around a floppy or some other USB medium and plug it in, if that's the only time something bad could happen, you still might want to have security in the classical sense of access per control system, which is what NT had," he says. The curveball of the Internet took everyone by surprise, he adds.
What Vista Will Bring
Now, as Microsoft develops Windows Vista, which is scheduled to ship in the second half of 2006, security is a top priority. The company talks about the big push to make Vista more "confident," "clear," and "connected."
Helping people visualize and organize their information better is another goal, which is why the user interface is changing yet again. Certain functions, such as commands, may change too, Chris Jones says, which would force users to learn to type differently. Microsoft's challenge is to change just enough to make the interface more intuitive, without changing so much that users begin to feel lost, he says.
Another highlight of Vista will be its new integrated search. Learning to adapt to the new search function won't be too much of a stretch, Jones believes, because of the full-text search tools people use in Microsoft Outlook, for example, or Google. In Vista, search is built into the OS, and every file is automatically indexed. Applications will be able to open files through a search menu, changing the way you think about where and how you store your files.
Bill Gates says Vista users will also notice the most significant change to the menu structure of applications since Microsoft introduced its early Mac and Windows applications in the 1980s.
"It is interesting that now, 20 years later, is the first time we're really taking that single-level menu structure approach and saying that for the productivity applications, that has run its course," Gates says. "The Office 12 user interface—it's super-interesting what they've done; it's amazing, but there will be people who resist the change. But that menu approach ran out of steam probably four or five years ago."
Behind the surface, Vista will have many new features, including a new graphics engine with new commands for programmers, a new programming model, new drivers, and security features that will make it easier for users to run without having administrator privileges on all the time.
A number of things Microsoft has talked about over the years won't be in Vista, though, including the Next Generation Secure Computing Base, a plan for running secure tasks separately from normal tasks; and WinFS, an object-oriented file system Allchin has been pushing for years. Though WinFS is currently being beta tested, it isn't expected to be included in the initial release of Vista.
New Strategies
As for future operating systems, Microsoft hopes to speed up the time between releases. During the 5-year-period between Microsoft's releases of XP and Vista, Apple has released several end-user upgrades and charged for them, Jones says. The question for Microsoft, he says, is "Where do we charge and where don't we for all these things?"Security updates, for example, should be included as part of the OS licenses people pay for, Jones says, and there are other things added to Windows for free because it's good for developers to have those features deployed. But Microsoft still needs to work out which extras to charge for, he says.
Microsoft is also always exploring ways to make new versions of the operating system interesting and significant enough for people to want to upgrade to them.
"First, we'd better offer a set of compelling capabilities in the software," Allchin says. "Second, we'd better work on the migration and deployment problems that people have today. If I look in the future, we have to do an even better job."
Keys to Windows' Past Successes
Looking back, Gates says the two most important things that led to Windows' success were creating a standard for application developers to write to and creating a standard, intuitive interface for users.
"We've got the developer model that connects to the past but also provides these new services for new classes of applications," Gates says. "We write applications ourselves and exploit that with Office, but it's really the breadth [of applications] that has made Windows such a strong standard. And that you can walk up to any machine and know how to use it, that's the user-model piece."
Both now have to evolve, he adds. "We need a model that is not as single device–centric as Windows originally was but that brings all these richer services, both local and remote, into that developer picture and into that user model," Gates says.
He notes that, in general, the basic UI hasn't changed all that much. "I could take you back to the Windows 2.0 UI and you'd find there wasn't the bar at the bottom and some things, but Windows users today would find it pretty familiar."Now, Gates says, it's time to "take the user interface to a new level." Such changes, he says, are always risky, just as moving from DOS to Windows was. But the goal remains to create a common developer model and a common user model."Those same benefits are as relevant today as they were when this got started."
2005年10月13日星期四
80万册“哈六”15日全国同步上市
80万册“哈六”15日全国同步上市
书名已确定为《哈利·波特与“混血王子”》，价格RMB58。
我想这应该对哈迷来说是个好消息吧，虽然我没看过哈里波特的印刷版，但我对这个也是有点兴趣的，只是现在高三忙得要命，成绩重要啊……
书名已确定为《哈利·波特与“混血王子”》，价格RMB58。
我想这应该对哈迷来说是个好消息吧，虽然我没看过哈里波特的印刷版，但我对这个也是有点兴趣的，只是现在高三忙得要命，成绩重要啊……
2005年9月18日星期日
2005年8月27日星期六
高中语文背诵篇目
高中语文背诵篇目 - 文言文和古代诗词
包含了老师添加的刘禹锡《秋词二首》和苏轼《定风波》。
Word文档，已经设置为“书籍折页”打印选项，使用双面打印即可打印出每页两部分内容，装订中缝，即成一个小册子。详细内容请在Microsoft Word帮助文档中搜索“打印折叠的小册子”并查看详细打印方法。
如果你没有安装Microsoft Word，请尝试使用Microsoft提供的Word Viewer 2003软件（请选择版本：Windows98版本 Windows2000/XP/2003版本），使用该软件可以打开包括DOC/WPS在内的多种文档格式。
文档：点击下载 [抱歉，文件已删除，链接失效]
包含了老师添加的刘禹锡《秋词二首》和苏轼《定风波》。
Word文档，已经设置为“书籍折页”打印选项，使用双面打印即可打印出每页两部分内容，装订中缝，即成一个小册子。详细内容请在Microsoft Word帮助文档中搜索“打印折叠的小册子”并查看详细打印方法。
如果你没有安装Microsoft Word，请尝试使用Microsoft提供的Word Viewer 2003软件（请选择版本：Windows98版本 Windows2000/XP/2003版本），使用该软件可以打开包括DOC/WPS在内的多种文档格式。
文档：点击下载 [抱歉，文件已删除，链接失效]
2005年8月12日星期五
痛苦的一夜...
从3点10分开始下的雨。
我是知道得清清楚楚。
这一宿基本上大脑是清醒着的。
真是让人无比郁闷！
我算是理解到了抑郁症患者的痛苦之处。
上次崔永元在电视台作节目，说到自己的病情，每天都是夜不能寐，想这想那，每天都可以眼看着月亮下山，太阳升起……
我这是刚刚一天就不行了。
……
我妈说，快开学了，大家都开始犯病；姥姥家邻居也有个学生开始头疼发烧。
……
实在受不了了，还是爬起来，做我的那个网络硬盘吧；现在所有的测试都已经通过了，只差发布。
只差发布。
现在没有发布，是因为，学校的主页服务器又当掉了！
我再次郁闷。
……
天亮了。
小鸟都叽叽喳喳的叫上了。
我也该回被窝了，老娘起来看到我上网该说我了……
……
我是知道得清清楚楚。
这一宿基本上大脑是清醒着的。
真是让人无比郁闷！
我算是理解到了抑郁症患者的痛苦之处。
上次崔永元在电视台作节目，说到自己的病情，每天都是夜不能寐，想这想那，每天都可以眼看着月亮下山，太阳升起……
我这是刚刚一天就不行了。
……
我妈说，快开学了，大家都开始犯病；姥姥家邻居也有个学生开始头疼发烧。
……
实在受不了了，还是爬起来，做我的那个网络硬盘吧；现在所有的测试都已经通过了，只差发布。
只差发布。
现在没有发布，是因为，学校的主页服务器又当掉了！
我再次郁闷。
……
天亮了。
小鸟都叽叽喳喳的叫上了。
我也该回被窝了，老娘起来看到我上网该说我了……
……
2005年7月9日星期六
妙语连珠（十一）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
医务室，验血中。
孙钰：狠点儿扎！
医生：你以为扎大象哪！
考试前，自习。
冯庆臣：我现在除了不想学习什么都想。
课间，劳尔抢走了乌龟的一杯果冻。
刘波：唉！留神啊，现在一岁以下小孩被这玩意儿噎死的多了去了！
课间。
聂萌：别招我啊！我现在傻了，什么事情都干得出来！
小平：哇，我可不敢招大脑积水的人。
聂萌：……怎么能这样说……
考试结束之后的自习课。
冯庆臣：唉，你看过《文字头D》了吗？
@#%#!@&&$^**笑翻了一片。
考试后。
乐佛：早就听说4班的空调制冷效果特别好。冯庆臣上4班考试，那天早上我碰到他的时候，他居然在擤鼻涕……
Marcher：冯庆臣，听说你在4班考感冒了？
冯庆臣：（擤鼻涕）可以……这么说吧……（擤鼻涕）
《妙语连珠》到此更新结束，快高三了，还是专心收集知识点，不收集妙语了……
祝各位同学暑假愉快，别被作业所吓倒……
医务室，验血中。
孙钰：狠点儿扎！
医生：你以为扎大象哪！
考试前，自习。
冯庆臣：我现在除了不想学习什么都想。
课间，劳尔抢走了乌龟的一杯果冻。
刘波：唉！留神啊，现在一岁以下小孩被这玩意儿噎死的多了去了！
课间。
聂萌：别招我啊！我现在傻了，什么事情都干得出来！
小平：哇，我可不敢招大脑积水的人。
聂萌：……怎么能这样说……
考试结束之后的自习课。
冯庆臣：唉，你看过《文字头D》了吗？
@#%#!@&&$^**笑翻了一片。
考试后。
乐佛：早就听说4班的空调制冷效果特别好。冯庆臣上4班考试，那天早上我碰到他的时候，他居然在擤鼻涕……
Marcher：冯庆臣，听说你在4班考感冒了？
冯庆臣：（擤鼻涕）可以……这么说吧……（擤鼻涕）
《妙语连珠》到此更新结束，快高三了，还是专心收集知识点，不收集妙语了……
祝各位同学暑假愉快，别被作业所吓倒……
2005年6月7日星期二
妙语连珠（十）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
经过九期的更新，妙语连珠已经有好几百句“妙语”了。
但是随着“妙语”的增多，也包括很多不能够称之为“妙语”的“妙语”的增多，工作量也随之增大，一开始的为快乐而收集变成了视收集为累赘。
没有了当初的热情，没有了庞大的编辑阵容，仅仅剩下我一个人管理愈加庞大的“妙语”数据。一个字，累。
可以说，是因为我的“懒”让妙语连珠暂停更新。
但是，我会继续记录生活、学习中的妙语，等待时机成熟，再次推出整合版。像上次一样，装订成册。
数学课上，同学们正在做极限的四则运算。
几位在黑板上做完题，老师开始讲解。
老师：看这个题。Vega是这么变的……
同学：变了……
老师：我们再看看那道题，看看曹永跃是怎么变的？……
物理课上。
老师在黑板上画完一个示意图。
老师：哎？你看看我画的汽车都跟幺三〇似的……
为了迎接课间操比赛，同学们都在操场上练操。
老师：把腰都弯下去，看自己的后背……
学生：高难度啊……
课间。
猴哥：老师让咱们擦窗户，是擦玻璃还是擦框啊？
Marcher：你擦玻璃我擦框。
乐佛：要不卸下来擦。最简单的方法就是砸了。
经典语录。
劳尔写了一篇小小说：《变形学生》。主人公叫做海子，还有个学生叫乐佛。小小说的主要内容是海子变成了一个怪物。
劳尔：乐佛，我觉得还是把你写死了吧，本来我是想写你也能变身的。
阿彪：没变身就这么大了，变了身还不失去了平衡性……
劳尔窃笑。
乐佛听后，开始狂殴劳尔和乐佛。
Marcher：大变坨坨（大便坨坨）。
劳尔：喔喔喔，挑衅！
乐佛：你说我什么？我现在把你变进垃圾桶里你信不信？
劳尔：让你就漏个嘴在外边，天天吃垃圾！
Marcher：……
本周更新结束。
暂停更新。多谢曾经的支持。我将把以后的内容做得更好。
经过九期的更新，妙语连珠已经有好几百句“妙语”了。
但是随着“妙语”的增多，也包括很多不能够称之为“妙语”的“妙语”的增多，工作量也随之增大，一开始的为快乐而收集变成了视收集为累赘。
没有了当初的热情，没有了庞大的编辑阵容，仅仅剩下我一个人管理愈加庞大的“妙语”数据。一个字，累。
可以说，是因为我的“懒”让妙语连珠暂停更新。
但是，我会继续记录生活、学习中的妙语，等待时机成熟，再次推出整合版。像上次一样，装订成册。
数学课上，同学们正在做极限的四则运算。
几位在黑板上做完题，老师开始讲解。
老师：看这个题。Vega是这么变的……
同学：变了……
老师：我们再看看那道题，看看曹永跃是怎么变的？……
物理课上。
老师在黑板上画完一个示意图。
老师：哎？你看看我画的汽车都跟幺三〇似的……
为了迎接课间操比赛，同学们都在操场上练操。
老师：把腰都弯下去，看自己的后背……
学生：高难度啊……
课间。
猴哥：老师让咱们擦窗户，是擦玻璃还是擦框啊？
Marcher：你擦玻璃我擦框。
乐佛：要不卸下来擦。最简单的方法就是砸了。
经典语录。
劳尔写了一篇小小说：《变形学生》。主人公叫做海子，还有个学生叫乐佛。小小说的主要内容是海子变成了一个怪物。
劳尔：乐佛，我觉得还是把你写死了吧，本来我是想写你也能变身的。
阿彪：没变身就这么大了，变了身还不失去了平衡性……
劳尔窃笑。
乐佛听后，开始狂殴劳尔和乐佛。
Marcher：大变坨坨（大便坨坨）。
劳尔：喔喔喔，挑衅！
乐佛：你说我什么？我现在把你变进垃圾桶里你信不信？
劳尔：让你就漏个嘴在外边，天天吃垃圾！
Marcher：……
本周更新结束。
暂停更新。多谢曾经的支持。我将把以后的内容做得更好。
2005年5月24日星期二
妙语连珠（九）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
积压了两周的妙语，本次同时发布~
课间上操。
Marcher：别怪我失手打着你。
刘波：你要是敢失手我就把你变成尸首。
中午放学的路上。
Marcher：我中午不能睡觉，越睡越困，到点儿了都起不来。
乐佛：床不是好东西，上去容易下来难。
课间，聊天中。
Marcher：梅花香自苦寒来，电扇对着炉子开。
刘波：这跟有的人夏天开着空调钻被窝差不多。你想啊，因为光开着空调觉得太冷了，只钻被窝热，不开空调钻被窝还是热，于是开着空调钻被窝……
课间。
Marcher：唉，“梅花香自苦寒来”的“自”是哪个？
乐佛：就是“自从”的“从”。
Marcher：……
乐佛：……灵异事件。最近我老说错字。
自习课上。
马妍：王川的计算器呢？
付丁洁：哪个是？
马妍：就是那个特别丑，上面写着一个“王大帅”的计算器。
物理课上。
老师：……把一个球绑在一个加速下降的升降机天花板上……
学生：……摄像机？
美术课，正在讲述建筑学。
乐佛：听说天安门底下装了轮子，等政变时可以推走。
P.S.：据乐佛解释，此段语言来自一部电影。
同一节美术课。
老师：这个是“过街塔”……
琛哥：这个在承德。
张旸：哦，这个就是布达拉宫！
课间。
Marcher：刚才我上厕所，从厕所出来腿磕在门框上了。
乐佛：那算什么，我们初中露营的时候有个哥们儿半夜放个屁大腿抽筋了。
化学课上。
老师：……这个就是谷氨酸钠，谷氨酸钠是味精的成分。
马妍：卫星？……
课间。
要开游泳课了，Marcher抱怨自己没有早学会游泳。
乐佛：没事！淹死胆大的，吓死会游的……说错了，淹死会游的，吓死胆大的！
化学课，实验中。
猴哥：唉？怎么加“白水溶液”啊？也太通俗了吧？为什么不写加“白开水溶液”？
《实验报告册》上面写着：
向试管中加入鸡蛋
白水溶液
化学课，实验中。
伍钺拔掉了试剂瓶的瓶塞，放于桌上。
猴哥拿起试剂瓶，用力捏着瓶口：这个怎么打不开？
课间。
刘莹正在前面擦黑板，刚刚擦掉了物理的题目。
阿彪：唉！王丹！别擦黑板！
众人：秀……
自习课。
乐佛用手在Marcher眼前一晃。
Marcher：嘿！打着怎么办？
乐佛：怎么着？打着也不费血。
Marcher：……费命……
课间。
讲罢笑话，某人说道：这个笑话是我从书上听的！
英语课上。
老师：“IQ是Intelligence Quotient的缩写”怎么翻译？
刘波：IQ is short for intelligence quotient。
老师：很好，就是Short for。看来大家作了书后习题了。
刘波：我做过上学期的。
物理课上。
老师：这就是斜面，也叫做“尖劈物体”……“劈”怎么写来着？
大象：您就甭管了！
老师：哦，他的意思是让我突出重点~
物理课上。
老师：……这个力F4……
学生：F4！
老师：嗯？不是吗？你们别老误导我。我知道你们说的F4，他们的歌唱得很糟糕。
学生：是啊！老师您唱得比他们好多了！
物理课上。
老师：来，咱们找一个比第一宇宙速度7.9小的数，比如说，8.9……
学生：……
老师：……哦，是大。
稍后。
老师：在找一个比第一宇宙速度大，比第二宇宙速度小的。
随即老师在黑板上写下：10m/s。
学生：千米！！！
老师：……有个同学跟我反映，早上上课的时候总是比较困……
课间，征订英语某书籍。
老师：谁要……
伍钺：王宇，买一本吧，放在学校大家都有得看了。
乐佛：那到时候那本书还不比钱还脏。
物理课上。
老师：要迎接物理会考，大家就要多做题……做题就像打乒乓球一样，三天不练就差一大截……
学生：老师，您好多天没唱歌了！
老师：(苦笑，继续讲课)
课间，篮球场。正在观摩女生篮球比赛中。
伍钺：劳尔，你往那边点儿，我看不见，你太高了。
劳尔：你终于说实话了，我就喜欢听这个。
乐佛：那是垫假肢了。
劳尔：那也比塞了棉花好！
乐佛帮助劳尔锻炼身体中……
上操途中。
猴哥：你说，我色还是王川色？
劳尔：李半斤，王八两。
晚自习，短信交流中。
六班某人：你们班有叫王宇的吗？
伍钺：有，什么事？
六班某人：他数学竞赛获奖了，叫他明天带一张五寸照片。
以下内容为王宇口述，伍钺发送短信。
伍钺：我没相片。
六班某人：你问他是照片没带还是没照过相？
伍钺：没照过相。
六班某人：那你等我去问问。
稍候。
六班某人：那没有算了。
伍钺：我没有贴别人的行吗？
六班某人：那贴我的好了。
伍钺：那不是玷污了我的名字吗？
六班某人：也是，这么俗的名字还玷污了我的照片呢。
语文课。
伍钺正在喝水，咽水时发出“咕咚”一声。
Marcher：喔，什么声？
伍钺：喝水呢。
正在玩《百战天虫》的乐佛：哎呀，掉水里了！
第一本《妙语连珠》合辑发布后，反响强烈。
刘波：你满足吧！学校给咱们发的书大家都找着退，你的书大家都想要复印。
乐佛：我还你为你给全班发《妙语》呢！怎么又发英语报纸？
乐佛：其实这本书印反的那页就是个彩蛋！
哈力：你那本《妙语》借我一天好吗？
刘聪慧：昨晚我们宿舍的人看了你那本《妙语》都笑翻了。
劳尔：这是第一次的发行，第一本《妙语》应该赶快收藏起来！
……
Marcher：感谢支持。有空上我网站看看好了。
不断收集、更新中，敬请期待。
2005年5月5日星期四
硬盘资料全部丢失~！
今天帮同学找一张光盘，无意中看到了《金山词霸·中国大百科全书》和刚刚刻好的百战天虫之世界派对中文版本，由于系统安全性和兼容原因，两个软件都不再支持WinXP使用，于是我考虑安装一个Win98玩玩。谁知……
在进入安装程序之后，我选择了一个已经格式化过的FAT32分区，安装程序用英文告知：
在硬盘分区上发现NT系统，……你可以选择另一个分区，……是否移除文件？
没办法，为了安装Win98，只能如此了。于是选择“Remove Files”，2秒钟之后，安装程序告知：
请准备好Win98启动软盘，重新启动后准备安装~
启动了电脑，软盘启动，进入DOS，发现C盘Not Ready……？？？我疑惑，于是看看D:/E:/F:，均无法访问……
慌了，赶紧进了FDISK查看分区……C:，DOS逻辑分区，387XX MB（我的硬盘是40GB啊……）……所有分区都被删除！！！
完了完了，小小疏忽把我硬盘上20多GB的东西全弄飞了~！安息吧，数据们……
重装了系统，用FinalData找找，发现了几个零碎文件……去TMD，数据全不要了！……
我悲恸……我默哀……
另外由于分区丢失，导致我在VC论坛共享的《百战天虫之世界派对 中文版》文件遗失，在此向VC论坛里支持的朋友表示深深的歉意！我会尽快重新发布一个ISO版本！请原谅！
2005年4月30日星期六
妙语连珠（八）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
本期信息采集员：聂萌
信息验证及校对：Marcher 乐佛
考试之后，政治课。
学生：老师，别讲卷子了，说点儿政治问题吧！
老师：不行！上次有个同学对我说，“老师，你上课时都打瞌睡，对得起您的工资吗？”所以，我一定要努力，一定要敬业，一定要讲完！
学生嘘声一片……
老师：想要我不讲也可以，你们要一起把那个同学暴揍一顿。
学生慌成一片……
语文课。
大象：我要对着墙奋（粪）发了！这就是“奋发图强（粪发涂墙）”的使动用法！
生物课。
老师：鸟类为了保护种群和它的后代，通常会在敌人入侵的时候，集体飞向天空，然后俯冲下来把敌人驱赶走……如果一只鹰去偷袭某鸟岛，很可能会被驱逐出来……
学生：厉害……
老师：有个记者去某鸟岛调查，在记者登上鸟岛的时候，所有的鸟都飞上了天，记者于是走上鸟岛，观察鸟巢、卵，拍照，这时候，天上的鸟一起……
学生：俯冲下来了！
老师：……一起集体排便……
数学课。
老师：聂萌，你来回答一下这个问题。
聂萌刚站起来，外边的铁路来了火车。
老师：……我发现每次叫聂萌回答问题外边都会来火车……
物理课。
老师：快放假了，大家的心情都比较那个。那我们这节课就上得轻松一点儿吧。
学生鼓掌：太了解我们了！……感动……
学生：老师那您唱歌吧。
老师：但据我了解，原子核这章没什么好唱的。
物理课。
老师：有个女生考完试之后就哭了，由于受到心理、精神、大脑的紧张……不像男生二皮脸，不把这些事放在心上……
正在喝水的刘波吐了……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
由于考完试后课程较少，没有收集更多的妙语。
本期信息采集员：聂萌
信息验证及校对：Marcher 乐佛
考试之后，政治课。
学生：老师，别讲卷子了，说点儿政治问题吧！
老师：不行！上次有个同学对我说，“老师，你上课时都打瞌睡，对得起您的工资吗？”所以，我一定要努力，一定要敬业，一定要讲完！
学生嘘声一片……
老师：想要我不讲也可以，你们要一起把那个同学暴揍一顿。
学生慌成一片……
语文课。
大象：我要对着墙奋（粪）发了！这就是“奋发图强（粪发涂墙）”的使动用法！
生物课。
老师：鸟类为了保护种群和它的后代，通常会在敌人入侵的时候，集体飞向天空，然后俯冲下来把敌人驱赶走……如果一只鹰去偷袭某鸟岛，很可能会被驱逐出来……
学生：厉害……
老师：有个记者去某鸟岛调查，在记者登上鸟岛的时候，所有的鸟都飞上了天，记者于是走上鸟岛，观察鸟巢、卵，拍照，这时候，天上的鸟一起……
学生：俯冲下来了！
老师：……一起集体排便……
数学课。
老师：聂萌，你来回答一下这个问题。
聂萌刚站起来，外边的铁路来了火车。
老师：……我发现每次叫聂萌回答问题外边都会来火车……
物理课。
老师：快放假了，大家的心情都比较那个。那我们这节课就上得轻松一点儿吧。
学生鼓掌：太了解我们了！……感动……
学生：老师那您唱歌吧。
老师：但据我了解，原子核这章没什么好唱的。
物理课。
老师：有个女生考完试之后就哭了，由于受到心理、精神、大脑的紧张……不像男生二皮脸，不把这些事放在心上……
正在喝水的刘波吐了……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
由于考完试后课程较少，没有收集更多的妙语。
2005年4月27日星期三
妙语连珠（七）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
课间，刘波要求坐在王川的位置上上课。
王川：你请我一根冰棍儿我就让你挨着聂萌一节课。
刘波：不行！
王川：你请我吃五根“摩爵”我就让你坐这儿！
刘波：你请我吃一根我就不坐这儿了。
王川：看见了吗，聂萌，你在他心里就是一根“摩爵”，在我心里是五根！
刘波：聂萌在我心里就是棍儿上永远写着“再来一支”的“摩爵”。
王川：……滚，上课了！
课间。
马妍：组长，我发现你的胡子长得特帅！
小平：……
马妍：组长脸上哪样儿东西不帅啊！我说的可是事实！
小平：你总是拿事实开玩笑。
自习课上。
欧阳艾垚(指着王川的橙色条形外衣)：王川，你这件衣服是不是还有个绿条的？
杨洁：是不是十块钱三件的？
王川：去，十块钱五件！
自习课。
马妍：把XX给我拿来！
伍钺：自个儿拿来。
马妍：我没戴眼镜上哪儿拿去！
英语课。
老师要求小平读课文翻译。
小平悄悄看着参考书慢慢读完。
老师：这可是读中文啊……读中文怎么也这么慢？
填写班主任调查表中，摘录如下。
1.班主任给你留下印象最深的是什么：
拿无知当个性。
2.班里最开心的事是什么：
看不到安老师。
过生日时害得许多人写了检讨。
检查二则(1)。
2005 年4月14日晚，我没能按时上晚自习。这在大力强调加强社会主义文明建设、创建文明校园、严格执行新校规校纪的今天无疑是个大错，是心中无集体，只有个人 的自私表现，是不思学习，只顾玩乐的后进思想体现。这与当今社会对人才高素质、高能力的要求极为不符。现在，我已深刻地认识到了自己的错误，虚心接受批 评，学习别人的优点，弥补着自己的不足，为建设富强、民主、自由、无敌的十六班，献上自己的一份力！
——匿名(经作者要求予以匿名)
检查二则(2)。
检查
上星期四，我们为聂萌过生日，紧赶慢赶，最后还是晚了。安老师严肃的批评了我们，使我们感到十分惭愧，认识到事情了的重要性(原文如此)，这不紧紧是简单的晚了(原文如此)，而且还为班里扣了（6个人一共）一分，影响了大家的利益。我决定从以下方面来保证以后不迟到了。
1.上课提前10分钟进班。
2.没事不吃羊肉串。
3.打篮球隔一会儿就看看表。
4.时刻牢记班主任的思想政治教育课，一定要牢记在心！不忘，不忘，永不忘！
2005.4.18
冯庆臣(经作者同意予以署名)
课间，刘波要求坐在王川的位置上上课。
王川：你请我一根冰棍儿我就让你挨着聂萌一节课。
刘波：不行！
王川：你请我吃五根“摩爵”我就让你坐这儿！
刘波：你请我吃一根我就不坐这儿了。
王川：看见了吗，聂萌，你在他心里就是一根“摩爵”，在我心里是五根！
刘波：聂萌在我心里就是棍儿上永远写着“再来一支”的“摩爵”。
王川：……滚，上课了！
课间。
马妍：组长，我发现你的胡子长得特帅！
小平：……
马妍：组长脸上哪样儿东西不帅啊！我说的可是事实！
小平：你总是拿事实开玩笑。
自习课上。
欧阳艾垚(指着王川的橙色条形外衣)：王川，你这件衣服是不是还有个绿条的？
杨洁：是不是十块钱三件的？
王川：去，十块钱五件！
自习课。
马妍：把XX给我拿来！
伍钺：自个儿拿来。
马妍：我没戴眼镜上哪儿拿去！
英语课。
老师要求小平读课文翻译。
小平悄悄看着参考书慢慢读完。
老师：这可是读中文啊……读中文怎么也这么慢？
填写班主任调查表中，摘录如下。
1.班主任给你留下印象最深的是什么：
拿无知当个性。
2.班里最开心的事是什么：
看不到安老师。
过生日时害得许多人写了检讨。
检查二则(1)。
2005 年4月14日晚，我没能按时上晚自习。这在大力强调加强社会主义文明建设、创建文明校园、严格执行新校规校纪的今天无疑是个大错，是心中无集体，只有个人 的自私表现，是不思学习，只顾玩乐的后进思想体现。这与当今社会对人才高素质、高能力的要求极为不符。现在，我已深刻地认识到了自己的错误，虚心接受批 评，学习别人的优点，弥补着自己的不足，为建设富强、民主、自由、无敌的十六班，献上自己的一份力！
——匿名(经作者要求予以匿名)
检查二则(2)。
检查
上星期四，我们为聂萌过生日，紧赶慢赶，最后还是晚了。安老师严肃的批评了我们，使我们感到十分惭愧，认识到事情了的重要性(原文如此)，这不紧紧是简单的晚了(原文如此)，而且还为班里扣了（6个人一共）一分，影响了大家的利益。我决定从以下方面来保证以后不迟到了。
1.上课提前10分钟进班。
2.没事不吃羊肉串。
3.打篮球隔一会儿就看看表。
4.时刻牢记班主任的思想政治教育课，一定要牢记在心！不忘，不忘，永不忘！
2005.4.18
冯庆臣(经作者同意予以署名)
考试结束~
经过了三天的奋战，考试终于结束……不管结果如何，尽力就好。
今晚开始更新Blog了，就是那个“妙语连珠”。我还准备在五·一期间把以前发布的综合一下，弄个小册子。
嘿嘿，想得美，到时候弄不弄还另说呢~
下午文科班还要考试，我们必须在班里上一下午自习……郁闷！
2005年4月15日星期五
妙语连珠（六）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
本期信息采集员：伍钺 聂萌 杨洁 乐佛
信息验证及校对：Marcher 乐佛
数学课。
Marcher：会手开方吗？
小平：不会。
Marcher：想学吗？我教你。给我个数，我给你开。
小平：4。
Marcher：……
数学课。
老师：……在外国，人们为了防止根号二这类虚数的出现，就把想研究它的人统统杀掉……在中国呢？人们看到根号二这种数字在生产实践中的需要，就开始研究开方的方法……
Marcher：外国人忙着杀人呢，中国人忙着开方呢！
化学课上。
老师：固定氮，也就是氮的固定，起什么作用呢？
学生：固氮。
（动脑子了吗？）
化学课上。
老师：大家看看第八题。
念了一遍题。
老师：这道题别做了，是寒假作业上的，好多同学在这道题上纠缠，因为有好多题在问我……
（口齿不清+头脑混乱!$#^&*）
经典语录（一）。
劳尔：我发现了风的衍射！我把可乐瓶子放在窗户没有正对着的地方，一刮风，瓶子居然倒了！难道这不是风的衍射吗？
阿彪：风波。
乐佛：风子说。
（一帮疯子……）
经典语录（二）。
物理老师：你看这题的图画得挺不舒心的……
经典语录（三）。
团委组织党校同学去盘山，要交50元，班里没人去。
团支部书记：你去不去啊？
阿彪：你去我就去！
团支部书记：我不去，我都去过了。
阿彪：我也不是不想去，我知道党组织信任我。
经典语录（四）。
数学课。
老师：这道题求出什么就可以了？
王川：答案。
班会，老师正在讲话。
Z瑜正在写作业。
班主任：行了，别做笔记了，听着就行。
物理课。
老师正在写公式。
老师手里拿着红粉笔，把公式的某一部分圈上。
老师：来看看，这个黄圈里的部分，是计算什么的啊？
课间。
王川在吃香肠。
刘波：别看你现在吃的欢，小心明天吃大便。
某节课上。
王川：张飞李逵，刘波地雷。
刘波：下课之后我帮你锻炼身体。
下课了，刘波将王川一顿胖揍。
数学课上。
老师：别被题吓懵了，只要……
王川：她把题吓懵了。
物理课上。
老师：假如一个白炽灯在燃烧，它发出的就是连续光谱……
生物课上。
老师：大家都知道达尔文的什么事情啊？
Marcher：达尔文的巨名著作——《物种起源》……
乐佛：妙语，记下来！
物理课上。
老师正在讲述原子物理在历史中的发展。
老师：历史就像一块豆腐，你用一根筷子推着它前进，推快了它就会散，就这样，前面的历史中物理发展的很慢；近代这一百年以来，发展的是越来越快……现在，“咚”的一脚就把豆腐踢出去了……
物理课上。
老师：……这就是形而上学……
学生：老师什么是形而上学啊？
老师：“形而上学”就是静止的看问题，没有用到发展的眼光……有一个学生，班主任在他的毕业鉴定上“希望”一栏后面写上：遵守纪律，也就是“希望今后遵守纪律”。后来这个学生找到老师，跟老师说，就因为这个，20年了都没有找到工作，现在都40了……
学生：讲上哲学了……
物理课上。
老师：枣糕大家都知道吧？用棒子面做成的，一个枣糕上都要放上一两个红枣做点缀，一方面好看，另一方面呢，再蒸枣糕的同时，红枣也会辐射出一股特殊的香气，让枣糕尝起来特别的香……这就是汤姆生的枣糕原子模型……
学生：饿了……
学生：上烹饪课了。
物理课上。
老师：卢瑟福就是汤姆生的学生……瑟，就是一种弦乐器，就是“锦瑟”……外国人的名字里净是“瑟”。
王川：中国人的名字里净是“银”。
物理课上。
老师（有感情地）：但是每个理论都不是完全正确和适用的，汤姆生解释不出来的现象也有，于是他的学生卢瑟福就说，我来吧。
生物课上。
老师：大家说说，你们都是哪里来的？是不是有的人相信人是上帝创造的吧？
学生：猴哥是从石头里蹦出来的！
老师：哦，石头里蹦出来的？又从垃圾箱里捡来的吗？好多家长小时候都这么说。
学生：有，乌龟！
老师：有人相信人是猴子变来的吗？
学生：有，猴哥！
政治课。
老师：什么是国家？
刘波：有老大。
老师：那是黑（读作"hè"）社会。
课间。
孔老大：看人要看本质。
钢牙女侠：看……人妖？
课间。
冯庆臣：我去银行换钱用带身份证吗？
Marcher：换钱？换零钱啊？
乐佛：不用吧？
刘波：你要是想把10块换成100块，就要带身份证。
刘波继续：带我的身份证就行了。
乐佛：那不就换成冥币了！
校本课上。
乐佛：你说练跆拳道的一脚把木板踢断都那么齐，假不假啊？
琛哥：那是按纹路踢的吧。
乐佛：纹路也不能那么齐吧？
琛哥：你知道甘蔗不？如果你不按纹路掰，就很难掰断；如果你按纹路掰，就特别容易断……
Vega：什么是甘蔗？
琛哥：你知道撑杆跳的杆不？……
校本课上。
Marcher：琛哥，问你件事。
Vega：选C！
Marcher：……我没问你题……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
下下周考试，下周五（4月22日）暂停更新，下下周三（4月27日）继续更新。
本期信息采集员：伍钺 聂萌 杨洁 乐佛
信息验证及校对：Marcher 乐佛
数学课。
Marcher：会手开方吗？
小平：不会。
Marcher：想学吗？我教你。给我个数，我给你开。
小平：4。
Marcher：……
数学课。
老师：……在外国，人们为了防止根号二这类虚数的出现，就把想研究它的人统统杀掉……在中国呢？人们看到根号二这种数字在生产实践中的需要，就开始研究开方的方法……
Marcher：外国人忙着杀人呢，中国人忙着开方呢！
化学课上。
老师：固定氮，也就是氮的固定，起什么作用呢？
学生：固氮。
（动脑子了吗？）
化学课上。
老师：大家看看第八题。
念了一遍题。
老师：这道题别做了，是寒假作业上的，好多同学在这道题上纠缠，因为有好多题在问我……
（口齿不清+头脑混乱!$#^&*）
经典语录（一）。
劳尔：我发现了风的衍射！我把可乐瓶子放在窗户没有正对着的地方，一刮风，瓶子居然倒了！难道这不是风的衍射吗？
阿彪：风波。
乐佛：风子说。
（一帮疯子……）
经典语录（二）。
物理老师：你看这题的图画得挺不舒心的……
经典语录（三）。
团委组织党校同学去盘山，要交50元，班里没人去。
团支部书记：你去不去啊？
阿彪：你去我就去！
团支部书记：我不去，我都去过了。
阿彪：我也不是不想去，我知道党组织信任我。
经典语录（四）。
数学课。
老师：这道题求出什么就可以了？
王川：答案。
班会，老师正在讲话。
Z瑜正在写作业。
班主任：行了，别做笔记了，听着就行。
物理课。
老师正在写公式。
老师手里拿着红粉笔，把公式的某一部分圈上。
老师：来看看，这个黄圈里的部分，是计算什么的啊？
课间。
王川在吃香肠。
刘波：别看你现在吃的欢，小心明天吃大便。
某节课上。
王川：张飞李逵，刘波地雷。
刘波：下课之后我帮你锻炼身体。
下课了，刘波将王川一顿胖揍。
数学课上。
老师：别被题吓懵了，只要……
王川：她把题吓懵了。
物理课上。
老师：假如一个白炽灯在燃烧，它发出的就是连续光谱……
生物课上。
老师：大家都知道达尔文的什么事情啊？
Marcher：达尔文的巨名著作——《物种起源》……
乐佛：妙语，记下来！
物理课上。
老师正在讲述原子物理在历史中的发展。
老师：历史就像一块豆腐，你用一根筷子推着它前进，推快了它就会散，就这样，前面的历史中物理发展的很慢；近代这一百年以来，发展的是越来越快……现在，“咚”的一脚就把豆腐踢出去了……
物理课上。
老师：……这就是形而上学……
学生：老师什么是形而上学啊？
老师：“形而上学”就是静止的看问题，没有用到发展的眼光……有一个学生，班主任在他的毕业鉴定上“希望”一栏后面写上：遵守纪律，也就是“希望今后遵守纪律”。后来这个学生找到老师，跟老师说，就因为这个，20年了都没有找到工作，现在都40了……
学生：讲上哲学了……
物理课上。
老师：枣糕大家都知道吧？用棒子面做成的，一个枣糕上都要放上一两个红枣做点缀，一方面好看，另一方面呢，再蒸枣糕的同时，红枣也会辐射出一股特殊的香气，让枣糕尝起来特别的香……这就是汤姆生的枣糕原子模型……
学生：饿了……
学生：上烹饪课了。
物理课上。
老师：卢瑟福就是汤姆生的学生……瑟，就是一种弦乐器，就是“锦瑟”……外国人的名字里净是“瑟”。
王川：中国人的名字里净是“银”。
物理课上。
老师（有感情地）：但是每个理论都不是完全正确和适用的，汤姆生解释不出来的现象也有，于是他的学生卢瑟福就说，我来吧。
生物课上。
老师：大家说说，你们都是哪里来的？是不是有的人相信人是上帝创造的吧？
学生：猴哥是从石头里蹦出来的！
老师：哦，石头里蹦出来的？又从垃圾箱里捡来的吗？好多家长小时候都这么说。
学生：有，乌龟！
老师：有人相信人是猴子变来的吗？
学生：有，猴哥！
政治课。
老师：什么是国家？
刘波：有老大。
老师：那是黑（读作"hè"）社会。
课间。
孔老大：看人要看本质。
钢牙女侠：看……人妖？
课间。
冯庆臣：我去银行换钱用带身份证吗？
Marcher：换钱？换零钱啊？
乐佛：不用吧？
刘波：你要是想把10块换成100块，就要带身份证。
刘波继续：带我的身份证就行了。
乐佛：那不就换成冥币了！
校本课上。
乐佛：你说练跆拳道的一脚把木板踢断都那么齐，假不假啊？
琛哥：那是按纹路踢的吧。
乐佛：纹路也不能那么齐吧？
琛哥：你知道甘蔗不？如果你不按纹路掰，就很难掰断；如果你按纹路掰，就特别容易断……
Vega：什么是甘蔗？
琛哥：你知道撑杆跳的杆不？……
校本课上。
Marcher：琛哥，问你件事。
Vega：选C！
Marcher：……我没问你题……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
下下周考试，下周五（4月22日）暂停更新，下下周三（4月27日）继续更新。
2005年4月13日星期三
前些天海龙的反日集会
引用自Freedom发布于BBS.LUHEXSC.NET上的帖子~
今天去中关村采购，正巧碰到海龙门口N多人在聚集，当时到的时候警察已经把海龙前面的广场完全封锁，任何人不准进入，详细情况估计很快会出来，这里有我用手机照的一些照片
海龙外景:到处都是警察阿···http://freedommx.w2.900host.com/news/hailong1.JPGhttp://freedommx.w2.900host.com/news/hailong2.JPGhttp://freedommx.w2.900host.com/news/hailong3.JPG
详细情况请参见：http://www.luhexsc.net/bbs/Dispbbs.asp?BoardID=6&replyID=4856&id=616&skin=0
拒绝日货！直到日本认罪的那一天！
2005年4月8日星期五
妙语连珠（五）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
特邀信息收集员：伍钺 萌萌 乐佛 劳尔
信息整理、校正：Marcher 乐佛
政治课上。
老师：有个精神病人跳楼了，身上还带着一万块钱，而且随身带着他自己写的遗书。遗书上的字乱七八糟，谁都不知道他写的什么……
Marcher：达·芬奇密码。
数学课上，讲解组合练习题。
老师：对于组合数公式，要会正着逆，也会用着逆……
(寒死~“要会正着用，也会逆着用”)
物理课上。
老师站在讲台下，对同学：我要跳上讲台去是不是要给我一个能量啊。
大象：踹他一脚。
语文课，正在分析课文。
老师：“应举下第，将还湘滨……”。柳毅他是哪里人啊？
刘波：香槟人！
化学课。
老师：……这个就是乳酸……比如说，你跑完八百米之后，腿会不会酸啊？那就是乳酸生成了……
乐佛：跑八百米之后哪里酸？乳酸！
聊天中。
劳尔的新买的笔袋接口处开线了。
劳尔：看来便宜一块钱的东西都不好，琛哥的笔袋和我的一样，就贵一块钱，用这么长时间了。我还想让他陪伴我三年呢……
乐佛：三年？别扯淡了，不刚四天吗~！
化学课。
老师：乙酸的溶解性怎么样？
欧阳艾垚：好啊！
早自习，背课文中。
Marcher：这篇课文真长真难背！
王川：把书合上，放到它该放的地方，然后，闭上眼睛，趴在桌子上……
说完掩面而睡……
语文课。
有人大声打哈欠。
老师：不要故意搞笑。
欧阳在拼命大声玩命竭尽全力地擤鼻涕。
王川：把早上的饭都擤出来了。
英语课。
老师：王川，你来翻译这个句子。
原句：Every now and then, she wipes her eyes with a handkerchief.
王川：不时地，她擦她的眼睛用一块手绢。
英语课。
原句：I itch all over.
老师：Itch 原意是“痒”，在这里引申为“渴望”的意思……
伍钺：痒癫风。
化学课。
老师：这次练习册交上来我都看了，99%的同学都做得不错。
王川：剩下那1%是半个人。
语文课，老师催促。
本该周三交的作文仍没收足20本。
老师：今天都星期四了，赶紧叫作文啊。
王川：呦！今天都星期四了？！
小平：今天刚星期四啊……
周五语文课。
老师：那你们下周一必须交作文啊，否则我要单找你们了……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：来，给我们背一下第四段吧。
小平：老师，第四段我还没背下来呢……前三段背了。
老师：那好，你给背诵一下第二段吧。
小平：……第二段我还没背熟呢……
老师：做人要诚实。好，我相信你背了，但没有及时复习而忘记了……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：伍钺，你来背一下。
伍钺：老师我还没吃完呢。
老师：好，等你吃完了我叫你。
检查了N个人之后。
老师：好，伍钺，你来背诵……
伍钺：老师我还没嚼完呢……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：伍钺，给我们背一下第四段。
伍钺：老师，我还没背到那儿呢。
老师：那你前几段背了吗？
伍钺：老师，前几段我都抄好了！
经典语录之一。
劳尔：活到老，学到老；学到老，吃到老；吃到老，拉到老。
经典语录之二。
劳尔：英雄惜英雄，美女恨美女。
数学课，订正练习册中。
老师：第十题大家怎么做的？作出的结果和答案给的一样吗？
王川：一样！抄的。
政治课，临下课。
老师：下周讲完了我们要考第五和第八课。欢迎大家复习……
体育课，踢球中。
猴哥手中拿球，说道：看我一脚把它扔进对方门里……
英语课。
原文：Breath-taking Beauty.
老师：Breath-taking Beauty，“惊艳”的意思……
乐佛：经验？
Marcher：Experience？
小平：是“惊奇艳丽”。
数学课。
晚进教室的大象碰到看到大家起立。
大象：大家都请坐吧。
物理考试中。
一片混乱。
欧阳：都TMD别说了，不会传纸条啊！
体育课。
一向投三分球很准的小文，近日命中率为零。
无奈的她仰天很久脱口说出：唉，真是大去已势了……
(天，他小学语文及格了吗！)
不断更新中，敬请期待……
特邀信息收集员：伍钺 萌萌 乐佛 劳尔
信息整理、校正：Marcher 乐佛
政治课上。
老师：有个精神病人跳楼了，身上还带着一万块钱，而且随身带着他自己写的遗书。遗书上的字乱七八糟，谁都不知道他写的什么……
Marcher：达·芬奇密码。
数学课上，讲解组合练习题。
老师：对于组合数公式，要会正着逆，也会用着逆……
(寒死~“要会正着用，也会逆着用”)
物理课上。
老师站在讲台下，对同学：我要跳上讲台去是不是要给我一个能量啊。
大象：踹他一脚。
语文课，正在分析课文。
老师：“应举下第，将还湘滨……”。柳毅他是哪里人啊？
刘波：香槟人！
化学课。
老师：……这个就是乳酸……比如说，你跑完八百米之后，腿会不会酸啊？那就是乳酸生成了……
乐佛：跑八百米之后哪里酸？乳酸！
聊天中。
劳尔的新买的笔袋接口处开线了。
劳尔：看来便宜一块钱的东西都不好，琛哥的笔袋和我的一样，就贵一块钱，用这么长时间了。我还想让他陪伴我三年呢……
乐佛：三年？别扯淡了，不刚四天吗~！
化学课。
老师：乙酸的溶解性怎么样？
欧阳艾垚：好啊！
早自习，背课文中。
Marcher：这篇课文真长真难背！
王川：把书合上，放到它该放的地方，然后，闭上眼睛，趴在桌子上……
说完掩面而睡……
语文课。
有人大声打哈欠。
老师：不要故意搞笑。
欧阳在拼命大声玩命竭尽全力地擤鼻涕。
王川：把早上的饭都擤出来了。
英语课。
老师：王川，你来翻译这个句子。
原句：Every now and then, she wipes her eyes with a handkerchief.
王川：不时地，她擦她的眼睛用一块手绢。
英语课。
原句：I itch all over.
老师：Itch 原意是“痒”，在这里引申为“渴望”的意思……
伍钺：痒癫风。
化学课。
老师：这次练习册交上来我都看了，99%的同学都做得不错。
王川：剩下那1%是半个人。
语文课，老师催促。
本该周三交的作文仍没收足20本。
老师：今天都星期四了，赶紧叫作文啊。
王川：呦！今天都星期四了？！
小平：今天刚星期四啊……
周五语文课。
老师：那你们下周一必须交作文啊，否则我要单找你们了……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：来，给我们背一下第四段吧。
小平：老师，第四段我还没背下来呢……前三段背了。
老师：那好，你给背诵一下第二段吧。
小平：……第二段我还没背熟呢……
老师：做人要诚实。好，我相信你背了，但没有及时复习而忘记了……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：伍钺，你来背一下。
伍钺：老师我还没吃完呢。
老师：好，等你吃完了我叫你。
检查了N个人之后。
老师：好，伍钺，你来背诵……
伍钺：老师我还没嚼完呢……
语文课，检查背诵中。
老师：伍钺，给我们背一下第四段。
伍钺：老师，我还没背到那儿呢。
老师：那你前几段背了吗？
伍钺：老师，前几段我都抄好了！
经典语录之一。
劳尔：活到老，学到老；学到老，吃到老；吃到老，拉到老。
经典语录之二。
劳尔：英雄惜英雄，美女恨美女。
数学课，订正练习册中。
老师：第十题大家怎么做的？作出的结果和答案给的一样吗？
王川：一样！抄的。
政治课，临下课。
老师：下周讲完了我们要考第五和第八课。欢迎大家复习……
体育课，踢球中。
猴哥手中拿球，说道：看我一脚把它扔进对方门里……
英语课。
原文：Breath-taking Beauty.
老师：Breath-taking Beauty，“惊艳”的意思……
乐佛：经验？
Marcher：Experience？
小平：是“惊奇艳丽”。
数学课。
晚进教室的大象碰到看到大家起立。
大象：大家都请坐吧。
物理考试中。
一片混乱。
欧阳：都TMD别说了，不会传纸条啊！
体育课。
一向投三分球很准的小文，近日命中率为零。
无奈的她仰天很久脱口说出：唉，真是大去已势了……
(天，他小学语文及格了吗！)
不断更新中，敬请期待……
2005年4月1日星期五
妙语连珠（四）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
数学课。
讲解阶乘符号中。
老师：不要把n!读成n叹号，要读作“n阶乘”……
乐佛：要大声而有语气地读n！
劳尔考虑片刻，读作：嗯哪！
数学课，刚刚讲了2分钟。
幻灯片自动关闭，屏幕显示“Windows正在关机...”。
老师：哎呀，这是上课之前关的机，现在才有反应……
汗死……
物理课，实验室中。
老师：把一个很小很小的物体放在光源前方。大家肯定会以为后边的黑板上会有一个黑色的点……其实光在屏上会出现一圈一圈的光环，而且光源和物体的连线在屏上的交点应该是亮点……
传来一声：哇噻！
老师：有的同学说，哇噻——哇噻是什么意思？
物理课，讲解光的干涉中。
老师：夏天下雨之后，公共汽车站附近的水洼里能够看到一些漂亮的彩色光带……那是司机在水里漏油的结果……
经典语录1。
劳尔：英雄脚臭，好汉屁猛！
经典语录2。
劳尔在学校一食堂吃饭时看到盘中一黑色物体。
劳尔：我不知道哪个是不是苍蝇。真的，挺恶心的，短时间内我不回去一食堂吃饭了……这正所谓，重复权威是成功之路。要相信学长的话！一食堂太垃圾了！
经典语录3。
老三：包叔很生气，后果很严重！
化学课，写方程式中。
老三：老师，那个银镜是什么东西？适合商场里卖的银一样吗？
老师：什么？
老三：那个东西和商场卖的银一样吗？
老师：一样啊。
老三：是特别值钱吗？
老师：银啊，当然值钱了。
老三：那您为什么要洗掉它呢？
老师：量太少了，再说这么多个班不能都用新试管吧？
老三：哦……
旁边的人已经不行了。
体育课，踢球中。
大象：Z瑜你防啊，我养你干什么用的啊！
随后便是Z瑜狠追毒打大象……
美术课。
老师，对小龟：纸呢？
小龟：丢了。
老师：人没丢啊？
小龟：快了。
Maggy：没人要。
爆笑……
英语课，正在订正翻译。
老师：第五句不订正了，没有技术含量。
乐佛评价：《天下无贼》看多了……
政治课。
老师：实践要有客观对象……几百年前的奴隶说，我要学习计算机，那可能吗？
4月1日，生物课上课之前。
前后门皆上锁。
前门贴有：“前门已坏，请走后门。”
后门贴有：“后门已坏，爬窗进入。”
老师来了，敲完前后门都没人开。
老师走了，等待几分钟，没有出现。
班长：走了？生物课代表你去找老师吧。
生物课代表马上出去，后进屋答：没在啊？
班长亲自去找，碰巧遇上走来的生物老师。
老师走上讲台：我在想，我应该从那个窗户进来……
生物课。
老师：你来说说第一题。
乐佛：选D。
老师：为什么选D？
乐佛：书上这么写的。
物理课，讲述光的衍射。
问：为什么光照射到刀片就不直线传播了？
老师：这个问题很有挑战性……
讲解始终没有讲到真正原因。
问：到底为什么啊？
老师：它就是不直线传播了。
老师又补充：这个问题问的很好，把我的激情招起来了。
爆笑。
体育课，踢球中。
不小心踢坏了Z瑜的眼镜，摘下眼镜后。
大象：Z瑜不戴眼镜跟骷髅似的，看得让人害(读作hèi)怕。
不断更新中，敬请期待……
数学课。
讲解阶乘符号中。
老师：不要把n!读成n叹号，要读作“n阶乘”……
乐佛：要大声而有语气地读n！
劳尔考虑片刻，读作：嗯哪！
数学课，刚刚讲了2分钟。
幻灯片自动关闭，屏幕显示“Windows正在关机...”。
老师：哎呀，这是上课之前关的机，现在才有反应……
汗死……
物理课，实验室中。
老师：把一个很小很小的物体放在光源前方。大家肯定会以为后边的黑板上会有一个黑色的点……其实光在屏上会出现一圈一圈的光环，而且光源和物体的连线在屏上的交点应该是亮点……
传来一声：哇噻！
老师：有的同学说，哇噻——哇噻是什么意思？
物理课，讲解光的干涉中。
老师：夏天下雨之后，公共汽车站附近的水洼里能够看到一些漂亮的彩色光带……那是司机在水里漏油的结果……
经典语录1。
劳尔：英雄脚臭，好汉屁猛！
经典语录2。
劳尔在学校一食堂吃饭时看到盘中一黑色物体。
劳尔：我不知道哪个是不是苍蝇。真的，挺恶心的，短时间内我不回去一食堂吃饭了……这正所谓，重复权威是成功之路。要相信学长的话！一食堂太垃圾了！
经典语录3。
老三：包叔很生气，后果很严重！
化学课，写方程式中。
老三：老师，那个银镜是什么东西？适合商场里卖的银一样吗？
老师：什么？
老三：那个东西和商场卖的银一样吗？
老师：一样啊。
老三：是特别值钱吗？
老师：银啊，当然值钱了。
老三：那您为什么要洗掉它呢？
老师：量太少了，再说这么多个班不能都用新试管吧？
老三：哦……
旁边的人已经不行了。
体育课，踢球中。
大象：Z瑜你防啊，我养你干什么用的啊！
随后便是Z瑜狠追毒打大象……
美术课。
老师，对小龟：纸呢？
小龟：丢了。
老师：人没丢啊？
小龟：快了。
Maggy：没人要。
爆笑……
英语课，正在订正翻译。
老师：第五句不订正了，没有技术含量。
乐佛评价：《天下无贼》看多了……
政治课。
老师：实践要有客观对象……几百年前的奴隶说，我要学习计算机，那可能吗？
4月1日，生物课上课之前。
前后门皆上锁。
前门贴有：“前门已坏，请走后门。”
后门贴有：“后门已坏，爬窗进入。”
老师来了，敲完前后门都没人开。
老师走了，等待几分钟，没有出现。
班长：走了？生物课代表你去找老师吧。
生物课代表马上出去，后进屋答：没在啊？
班长亲自去找，碰巧遇上走来的生物老师。
老师走上讲台：我在想，我应该从那个窗户进来……
生物课。
老师：你来说说第一题。
乐佛：选D。
老师：为什么选D？
乐佛：书上这么写的。
物理课，讲述光的衍射。
问：为什么光照射到刀片就不直线传播了？
老师：这个问题很有挑战性……
讲解始终没有讲到真正原因。
问：到底为什么啊？
老师：它就是不直线传播了。
老师又补充：这个问题问的很好，把我的激情招起来了。
爆笑。
体育课，踢球中。
不小心踢坏了Z瑜的眼镜，摘下眼镜后。
大象：Z瑜不戴眼镜跟骷髅似的，看得让人害(读作hèi)怕。
不断更新中，敬请期待……
2005年3月27日星期日
妙语连珠（三）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
体育课，自由活动。
踢球前。
VEGA：别碰我，我今天还没大便呢。
词一首
乌龟：
被人忽视？受人欺凌？没人爱你？不要紧。就算这世界上无人爱你，理你、重视你，我的大门依然为你敞开，北京市第四精神病医院给你一个温暖的家。
老三和乌龟被追。
摆脱追踪者之后，二人相视而笑。
乌龟：知道什么叫以智取胜吗？
二人齐答：价格公道！
上课中。
有人回头看表。
劳尔：那是给你看的吗？那是老师用来看时间的。
乐佛：我在为老师分担工作。
在目睹本人前次踢球时摔倒的惨状后。
乐佛：想要避免因踩到龙卷球而摔倒的尴尬场面吗？请服用哈药六厂生产的儿童用小儿护臀口服液。
英语课，订正一张卷子。
讲道完型填空，同学争论：
“鲸鱼呼吸的洞怎么会是在脑袋上呢？”
“就是在脑袋上的！”
老师：“就是脑袋上吧……”
此时老三正用手指着自己头部，指手画脚。
老师：“大家看王川！”
狂笑。
化学课。
正要下课，老师介绍次日课程。
老师：明天咱们讲新课，苯酚。做实验，要到实验室上课。是第四节……
学生：第五节课吧！
老师：哎？第四节吧？
学生：就是第五节！第一节是数学，第二节是……
老师打断：第一节讲溴乙烷卤代烃，第二节讲乙醇，第三节是有机物分子式确定，第四节不就是苯酚嘛。
学生：……
上课中。
钢牙女侠：你家的猫是下小猫了吗？
小平：是啊。
钢牙女侠：什么猫啊？
小平：……小猫就是小猫呗……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
体育课，自由活动。
踢球前。
VEGA：别碰我，我今天还没大便呢。
词一首
乌龟：
被人忽视？受人欺凌？没人爱你？不要紧。就算这世界上无人爱你，理你、重视你，我的大门依然为你敞开，北京市第四精神病医院给你一个温暖的家。
老三和乌龟被追。
摆脱追踪者之后，二人相视而笑。
乌龟：知道什么叫以智取胜吗？
二人齐答：价格公道！
上课中。
有人回头看表。
劳尔：那是给你看的吗？那是老师用来看时间的。
乐佛：我在为老师分担工作。
在目睹本人前次踢球时摔倒的惨状后。
乐佛：想要避免因踩到龙卷球而摔倒的尴尬场面吗？请服用哈药六厂生产的儿童用小儿护臀口服液。
英语课，订正一张卷子。
讲道完型填空，同学争论：
“鲸鱼呼吸的洞怎么会是在脑袋上呢？”
“就是在脑袋上的！”
老师：“就是脑袋上吧……”
此时老三正用手指着自己头部，指手画脚。
老师：“大家看王川！”
狂笑。
化学课。
正要下课，老师介绍次日课程。
老师：明天咱们讲新课，苯酚。做实验，要到实验室上课。是第四节……
学生：第五节课吧！
老师：哎？第四节吧？
学生：就是第五节！第一节是数学，第二节是……
老师打断：第一节讲溴乙烷卤代烃，第二节讲乙醇，第三节是有机物分子式确定，第四节不就是苯酚嘛。
学生：……
上课中。
钢牙女侠：你家的猫是下小猫了吗？
小平：是啊。
钢牙女侠：什么猫啊？
小平：……小猫就是小猫呗……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
2005年3月26日星期六
狗日的不要做梦了！
http://cn.news.yahoo.com/japan_membership05/index.html
歪曲历史的狗日想成为常任？！门儿都没有！反对日本加入联合国常任理事国的，都来签名！！！
2005年3月20日星期日
妙语连珠（二）
本站原创作品，请勿转载！
语文课。
“汝去年书云：比得脚软病……”
学生共呼：“软脚病！”
“哦哦哦，习惯了，有惯性了。如去年书云：比得脚软病……”
“老师，是'软脚病'……”
“……”
英语课，检查背诵中……
老师，叫起乌龟。“你来背诵这段。”
“老师，我嗓子疼……”
“好，我明天叫你。XX，你来背诵……”
次日。
老师叫起乌龟：“你来背诵这段……”
乌龟：“嗓子比昨天还疼了……”
老师：“……-_-”
课后，与乌龟交谈。
“下周再叫我，我就捂住嗓子，摆手，告诉她我出不了声音了……”
数学课，老师动员学生参加学校组织的数学竞赛。
老师：“学校组织的数学竞赛，2/3都是书本知识，有1/3难题……欢迎大家报名，对数学学习有好处的……”
学生：“什么时候比赛？” “交多少钱？”……
老师：“学校组织的不交钱的。”
学生继续：“到底什么时候比赛？周末不能回家了吧？”……
老师：“应该是定在4月1号比赛……”
爆笑。愚人啊……
生物课。
老师指着黑板上方：“好，第一个组合，XX你来写它的棋盘式……”
XX上讲台。
老师回头，看后问道：“XX，你够得着吧？”
“……”
劳尔经典语录。
“岁月如飞刀，刀刀催人老~”
“男秘书没有前途……”
“老婆？！现在谁还叫老婆？过两天就要换的，没有什么固定职称……”
语文课上，传来一张表格，要求填写团员情况。
填完后传给阿彪。
阿彪：“班内职务填什么啊？”
阿彪填完后传给别人。
老三：“阿彪说他在'班内职务'里填的是'自行车管理员'……”
汗……
校本课。教室中。
我的文曲星下载了一个新程序，运行后有类似WINDOWS界面。
张思远看后，急切询问：“啊？能上网吗？”
若不是坐在椅子上，我就翻了……
校本课，教室中。
乐佛：“就那边开的那个'东北大海鲜'，门口老是停着几辆黑色的车……看着就跟饭馆是东北黑社会开的似的……”
我随后答道：“语文书还是黄皮的呢。”
生物课。
老师：“天才就是1%的灵感加99%的汗水……不是说你们笨，你们就是没有钻研精神……要不不就多出几个生物学家吗……”
大象：（快速的）“您这不是打击俺们积极性吗！……”（后调查，大象耳中塞有耳机，自己都不知道当时说的什么……）
老师：（愣了3秒）“哦，我还以为你说'大象'呢……”
爆笑+狂晕3分钟……
体育课，自由活动，踢足球中……
对方门前。大象一脚抽射！
球……
球飞了。
守门员旁有一只鞋……
稍后，球飞出场外，大象一脚踢回。
鞋又飞了……-_-
刘波：“知己知彼，百战不殆。大象知道自己脚臭就老想把鞋脱了……”
体育课，踢球中……
传球，我没接住。
冯庆辰：“我就不明白你为什么老躲球……”
片刻后。
对方劳尔控球，我喊：“传球！”球果然向我滚来……
我出脚，踏于球上，翻身倒地……
乐佛：“你为什么捂住臀部倒地呢？”
冯庆臣：“我知道你为什么躲球了……”
汗死……秀的太像了……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
语文课。
“汝去年书云：比得脚软病……”
学生共呼：“软脚病！”
“哦哦哦，习惯了，有惯性了。如去年书云：比得脚软病……”
“老师，是'软脚病'……”
“……”
英语课，检查背诵中……
老师，叫起乌龟。“你来背诵这段。”
“老师，我嗓子疼……”
“好，我明天叫你。XX，你来背诵……”
次日。
老师叫起乌龟：“你来背诵这段……”
乌龟：“嗓子比昨天还疼了……”
老师：“……-_-”
课后，与乌龟交谈。
“下周再叫我，我就捂住嗓子，摆手，告诉她我出不了声音了……”
数学课，老师动员学生参加学校组织的数学竞赛。
老师：“学校组织的数学竞赛，2/3都是书本知识，有1/3难题……欢迎大家报名，对数学学习有好处的……”
学生：“什么时候比赛？” “交多少钱？”……
老师：“学校组织的不交钱的。”
学生继续：“到底什么时候比赛？周末不能回家了吧？”……
老师：“应该是定在4月1号比赛……”
爆笑。愚人啊……
生物课。
老师指着黑板上方：“好，第一个组合，XX你来写它的棋盘式……”
XX上讲台。
老师回头，看后问道：“XX，你够得着吧？”
“……”
劳尔经典语录。
“岁月如飞刀，刀刀催人老~”
“男秘书没有前途……”
“老婆？！现在谁还叫老婆？过两天就要换的，没有什么固定职称……”
语文课上，传来一张表格，要求填写团员情况。
填完后传给阿彪。
阿彪：“班内职务填什么啊？”
阿彪填完后传给别人。
老三：“阿彪说他在'班内职务'里填的是'自行车管理员'……”
汗……
校本课。教室中。
我的文曲星下载了一个新程序，运行后有类似WINDOWS界面。
张思远看后，急切询问：“啊？能上网吗？”
若不是坐在椅子上，我就翻了……
校本课，教室中。
乐佛：“就那边开的那个'东北大海鲜'，门口老是停着几辆黑色的车……看着就跟饭馆是东北黑社会开的似的……”
我随后答道：“语文书还是黄皮的呢。”
生物课。
老师：“天才就是1%的灵感加99%的汗水……不是说你们笨，你们就是没有钻研精神……要不不就多出几个生物学家吗……”
大象：（快速的）“您这不是打击俺们积极性吗！……”（后调查，大象耳中塞有耳机，自己都不知道当时说的什么……）
老师：（愣了3秒）“哦，我还以为你说'大象'呢……”
爆笑+狂晕3分钟……
体育课，自由活动，踢足球中……
对方门前。大象一脚抽射！
球……
球飞了。
守门员旁有一只鞋……
稍后，球飞出场外，大象一脚踢回。
鞋又飞了……-_-
刘波：“知己知彼，百战不殆。大象知道自己脚臭就老想把鞋脱了……”
体育课，踢球中……
传球，我没接住。
冯庆辰：“我就不明白你为什么老躲球……”
片刻后。
对方劳尔控球，我喊：“传球！”球果然向我滚来……
我出脚，踏于球上，翻身倒地……
乐佛：“你为什么捂住臀部倒地呢？”
冯庆臣：“我知道你为什么躲球了……”
汗死……秀的太像了……
不断更新中，敬请期待……
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